Little Girl Inside & Outside And The Circle of Damned Poets

Behind writing, Secret Garden Chronicles, Poem Story to tell For Four Seasons, Theory of Everything is a therapeutics benefits for well-being of inner self and outer self after grief of my mother.

"You can only see clearly by looking inside yourself. He who looks outward dreams. He who looks inside himself awakens." "Your visions will only become clear when you can look into your own heart. He who looks outside, dreams; he who looks inside, awakens." Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961)

Behind the writing, memoir and biography, The Secret Garden Chronicles, Poem Story to Tell, For Four Seasons, Theory of Everything, is a therapeutic benefit for inner and outer self-care during my connection with the Meta-universe of social networks and nature. This action of personal and emotional development through creation is a form of rebellion or resilience after many traumas towards the hope of a future: a life of fulfillment and happiness. Traumas occur after several failed attempts to enter the world of work. Also, after the mourning of my mother and sister. As well as after an act of misunderstood domestic violence and external and virtual harassment during my online observation on social networks and in the street. In addition, after a spiritual pilgrimage to the holy city of Mecca with my mother, who was ill and for whom I was responsible. And finally after the pandemic and the economic crisis in the country and the change of government and new world order.

Initially, creativity came instinctively from an inner need, driven unconsciously by the frustration of not being able to fulfill myself in this dense network, and consciously by my intellect and knowledge, playing with new technologies and social media. To realize, develop and renew myself through learning. Following the path of Jung's therapeutic practice, I had to admit my limits, take responsibility for my behavior and forgive my failures (according to Jung, there is no such thing as failure, only experience), relying on the past without passing judgment.

In a gesture of protection and vulnerability, I took refuge in my virtual world of celebrity, animal protection and sports communities. I practiced long-distance walking (marathon, hiking), running, yoga, aerobics, Zumba, Salsa dance. As well as self-help, philanthropy and writing, social media, listening to music and creating via technological applications and AI (Photo and selfie). As a defense against external aggression, I deported myself into the past through my memory, recorded and waiting to be opened like Pandora's Box. My aim was to understand certain details of my life that had escaped me in a phase of conscientization (global understanding of my meta-connection between self self inner and outer self (Community, family, animals and nature) (the word is coming from Spanish conscientizatición. It means developing strengthening and changing consciousness, created in the field of education especially in adult education in 1960, producing a new conception of consciousness). And why I let my life pass me by without realizing it or taking a step forward.

As Boris Cyrulnik says “memory is not a store of memories”. It is the representation of what we have done with the past. Behind this return to the past, there is an intentionality to search our memory for images and words to give coherent form to our idea of the past. There are bound to be changes and evolutions in our memory.

"It all depends on how we look at things. Regardless of how objective something may seem, others will always interpret it in their own way, and may draw different conclusions about the same reality." Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961)

Notwithstanding the Asian philosophy of Taoism, which tells us to act and focus on the future. Our flashback blocks and can produce negative energies. "The first part of a man's life should be devoted to earth, the second to heaven." "For our leaves to reach heaven, our roots must go down to hell." So Carl Jung admits that this phase is vital to creation.

Tchouang-Tseu corroborates his statement that "joy must be cultivated. It stimulates vital energy. Prolonged sadness blocks the circulation of vital energy”. Prolonged sadness is negative for our well-being, and should therefore be avoided.

All psychologists try to avoid it. Among them Boris Cyrulnik / Antoine Spire - Le Monde de education - May 2001 "If suffering compels creativity, that doesn't mean we have to be compelled to suffer in order to become creative." While Carl Jung reminds us that this is an important phase in creation. "You can only see clearly by looking inside yourself. He who looks outward dreams. He who looks within awakens.” Carl Jung. In addition, he announces that through his therapy he aims to probe this state of mind to achieve creativity by experiencing one's own nature and capacities for metamorphosis and becoming, which interests him. "The therapeutic effect I seek to achieve is the creation, in the subject, of a state of soul in which he or she begins to experience his or her own nature, to experiment with its elements, a state finally made of fluidity, of aptitude for metamorphosis and becoming." And he explains that this nature has been neglected to the detriment of great scientific discoveries and technologies, hence the importance today of the human sciences and neuroscience research: "Human beings have made great discoveries and developed numerous skills, knowledge, technologies and forms of expression. However, human nature is careless and often neglects essential aspects, including itself".

Today's practice of inner and outer awareness through observation, writing and creation aims to develop emotional intelligence (EQ) and personal development by focusing our attention on the present, without judgment, while moving through the past. According to psychologist Carl Jung, personality growth begins with the unconscious: "By confronting the unconscious, the ego is transformed. Sensations and feelings help us to understand and discover the outside". world "Sensations and intuitions play an important role in explaining the world. Using logic alone limits our point of view ". "Sensation tells us that something is. Thought tells us what that thing is. Feeling tells us what that thing is for us." Carl Jung

And here is my story, entangled by representations of memories and stories that intersect in counterpoint between past, present and future mirroring the narrative, in general, in social networks.

After the loss of her parents and a long period of mourning, in an emotionally confused head, a little girl lost her stability. She stayed alone with her birds and cat in her room, looking inside her memory to capture happy memories with her parents behind her bedroom window. A voluntary solitude because she hasn't found anyone to listen to her. "Loneliness doesn't come because you don't have people around you, but because you can't communicate the things that seem important to you." (Carl Jung)

She looked outside, into her dreams and imaginary head, to discover nature, animals and people. She stopped to look for a virtual friend behind her TV screen, phone and tablet. She remained silent for a long time after being voluble and gossipy with unfamiliar people. In her touching, innocent connection, she connected to this meta-universe and became universal. She believed that her fictional world was real and that all people were alike and had the same interests as her. She projected herself into them and sponged her own emotions into their emotions in an empathy and gift she had acquired since childhood thanks to her love of the media and lights. She built her own stability, happiness, friends and imaginary boyfriends in the midst of a circle of cursed poets (writers, singers, artists and journalists) whose lives are dissolute and corrupt. This circle of activists and dreamers were protesting against injustice and misery in their country.

Behind them circulate the ghosts of war, bankruptcy, unemployment, divorce, broken families, the disabled, refugees, migrants, the shadows of the Dark Web and Anonymous, the Gurus, the Illuminati, the Freemasons. Following Jung's theory, I had to know "even virtually" the dark side of my own soul in order to prepare myself and know how to behave when faced with the dark parts of other souls. Accepting to socialize with those souls who are the opposite of oneself means accepting the other dark side: "It's not by looking at the light that you become luminous, but by plunging into its darkness. But this work is often unpleasant, and therefore unpopular." (Jung).

According to the latter, being aware of the totality of our nature helps us to understand similar things observed in others, what is consciously expressed and unconsciously concealed. What exasperates us in others is often what exists within us.

Faced with their painful lives, she lost her own life, the sense of time, alone in her room. She was living their lives, helping them, supporting new talent and under the influence of social networks. However, she was vulnerable and exposed to sympathy, misunderstanding, judgment and harassment, sometimes mockery and insults. She stored up a lot of suffering in her relationships of empathy and friendship. Given her material and family situation, she could only help them through gestures, cliques, sharing and small donations. She was among the active people who loved animals, especially cats, the elderly and the sick (generous and kind sharing), not an activist in the real world, but in the virtual world of volunteer work. According to Jung's theory of collective consciousness and unconsciousness, "Man must be himself in order to be the better servant of all. »

In short, these people belonged to communities of sleepwalkers and zombies. Most of the time, they are under family pressure or burn-out (addicted to drugs, alcohol, hallucinations, sleep-deprived delusions, medication, music, films, or addicted to games and/or smart phones, etc.). They have lost their humanity, and are only interested in making money.

After many futile attempts to find a real, faithful friendship. She looked for real friends among her neighbors. It was difficult to go out because of the close surveillance of monsters and villains (police, soldiers, samsaras, beggars, influencers, devil worshipers and gurus, neighbors...).

In resume, the easy, dirty money in the hands of power in this meta-universe, who wanted to know his real address and number so as to tilt him in their direction or take advantage of his contacts (family included). These monsters, the world of corrupt shadows, who wanted to include her in their evil world of thieves, liars and hypocrites, politicians, journalists, artists and merchants or businessmen. She didn't choose them, and this goes against her own beliefs and upbringing or personality. She saw what she shouldn't and resisted their influence. She was discovering and revealing secrets in a state of mediumship, of prediction in this imaginary fiction and of disinformation behind artificial intelligence, robotic agents. This halo effect created by leaderships and philanthropists trying to influence public opinion. To make us incline towards their politics of change and metamorphosis or philosophy. She couldn't understand why, they wanted to lure her towards a vision of the world that wasn't her own.

Because of her anger at the misery she found in her solitude: the injustice of corrupt justice. The country's system of accepting only those who work. The "so-called" poor (impoverished by a well-studied appearance) or the "so-called" rich who have to pay for their grades, their social and economic ascensions through philanthropy. While others (stingy), accumulate money, houses and land, and the state grabs it in one way or another via taxes through its commitment to citizenship, ecology or social responsibility. A human comedy in the making, a rich source of writing for a modern-day Balzac on social networks. The system of impoverishing taxes, the so-called rich but not the real rich. The illness of his parents over the years and later their deaths, the division of the family. Family discord stems from misunderstanding and ignorance of the system in the new world order. Lack of empathy and divergence of interests, individualism, lack of solidarity. The hypocrites invited by the parents and their association of politicians, narcissists, gossips and profiteers. The family that uses my own social media and media connection for their social, political and commercial advancement, for their wives and children. Without taking into consideration their own emotions, their misfortunes, their desires and without listening or understanding. Finally, his desire to fulfill himself and fit into a hard-working, productive and creative society.

Also due to the illness of her two brothers in relation to this prison (Web and commercial or political room.) Their abusive relationship with an authoritarian and narcissistic father. His attachment to his hometown, which is not theirs. His love for his farm, his land and his uncontrollable credit, and that of his son, from his second family, ambitious, malevolent and violent. His second family that has tried to ruin our lives to this day. The "samsara" son, violent, violently beating his half-sister in her own home. Her crime has been to defend herself against the abuses that threaten his serenity and that of his sick brother and mother: his lies, his corruptions, his malice and his ploy against his family to monopolize the farm, the land and the money (which is owed to his own mother). Camouflaging themselves behind this socialist party that claims to defend the poor but isn't in reality. They create their own Eldorado behind stupid philanthropists. Wealth is distributed but not equitably. Its masochism personified, a case for psychologists to analyze. This domestic violence, committed in front of her parents, her brother and her wife, happened without anyone finding it abnormal. They danced, went to a party and didn't even call or worry about his mental or physical state. In short, evil comes from family and friends. Intolerance and judgment stimulate anger, emotions and fears. Decision-making will then be obsolete and someone will be sacrificed. The one who is sacrificed is the weakest, not the strongest. As Boris Cyrulnik says in the Affectionate nutrition, "The family, this haven of security, is at the same time the place of extreme violence."

Security evaporates. The family begins to divide into three camps: those who applaud, those who sympathize and react, and those who stand by as spectators, neither for nor against.

When it comes to a sister or brother whose act of prejudice is flagrant. Sisters and brothers unite in an affective and supportive family. In the divided family, they try to cover the strongest, not the weakest. When it comes to their children, it's a different matter. A violent, malevolent half-brother becomes the protector and source of money, appreciated by the family, through his malevolent generosity. Fortunately, however, the most intelligent and empathetic members of the family understand his pernicious ploy.

Added to this is the attempt at malevolence that comes from the misunderstood outside (the gossips and political leaderships within the social networks). Those who seek to push us in a direction far from our real lives (DSGT, their acolytes, the media, the neighbors across the street who I know follow everything we say via social networks and who observe our movements). You're going to call me paranoid with the conspiracy theory. I'm not making it up, I've seen them and they were connected via our phone number and maybe even via Wi-Fi. That's when she realized that it's all coming from the Internet. All evil comes from shares, likes and hashtags. Her life, her virtual secret garden, which she cultivated. Through it, she tried to evolve her unconsciousness by dialoguing with her conscious. Or confront her state of mind via socialization. Like Jung, she spoke of looking into her shadow to tame it and change it. Unlike Freud, who holds the sexual libido solely responsible for all our ills and the repression of our desires in our unconscious. It's the collective, primitive unconscious that has shaped us through civilization and genealogy. Enriching it through imagination and daydreaming, activates and brings into dialogue the conscious and unconscious.

So we had to face up to this collective and reconcile with ourselves through a virtual journey of self, living together. Paradoxically, we individualize ourselves through citizenship and global solidarity, without being formatted. By filling a gap, socializing and combining dreams, music and art to create well-being. We become free

She remained a little girl who dreamed of finishing her studies and working elsewhere. Finding her own way, her own ascension, her own place, but elsewhere. She felt like she was here and elsewhere at the same time, traveling through the imaginary world. Like a butterfly, she moved from one community to another. She played and danced in her room alone, spending her time between the gym, sports, online games, bookstores, exhibitions, museums, social networks, reading books and writing diaries. She wrote stories both true and imaginary. She reveled in her solitude, but she wasn't happy. She was looking for the meaning of happiness, but couldn't find it because she felt so alone. Then she realized that social relationships are not virtual. She was looking for real contact to give meaning to her life.

One day, she was looking out of her window. It was a sunny day, the birds were singing, her cat was looking out onto the street. A family was setting up in front of her house. She spotted a boy with his ball looking in her direction. He was a handsome boy, taller than her. She saw him playing outside with his ball and his dog, riding his bike and jumping in the trees, laughing in the garden with his mom and dad. She could see the meaning of happiness through her window. Between sadness and hope, she wanted to be part of this world, but couldn't because of the surveillance and her shyness. She waited for him to make the first move. Until he did, and encouraged her to go out and play with him. She touched life with her hands again, in a way she'd never done before. She looked at the sky, the sun, the flowers, the plants, the trees, the animals. She touched people's hands as she had never done before. And her imaginary world of happiness became real. She brought home cats and birds in captivity or malnourished on the street. She helped elderly people cross the street, fed pigeons, cats and dogs. She gave alms to the needy and shared her yoghurt with children. She walked between houses and alleys. In the midst of nature, she'd go for long walks, and that's where she found her happiness: adrenalin and dopamine pumping through her every time she walked or ran. She sent money to charities (Art, natural disasters, Sidaction or the cancer campaign TV show, even though she didn't have much money). And the meaning of happiness becomes reality in action, challenge and solidarity, not comfort and solitude. She was in a financially precarious situation. She would have to work to meet her most basic needs. The world of work is difficult in underdeveloped countries. It's a world of appearances, dominated by false presences, common political, economic and religious interests of the region and the government (city, region, surname, first name, parents, political party, public or administrative relations). Between the cultivated and educated and the one who has never picked up a book. Between the one who works in online commerce and becomes a member of an association and the one who becomes a teacher with no diploma and no knowledge. Between the one who doesn't practice his prayer; but becomes a good practitioner thanks to listening to the Koran on YouTube or via application. Or when he attends the mosque on Fridays, religious holidays or (visible) funerals. The paradox of the person who listens to a lot of music online, but does a lot of praying at home (not visible). No one sees your truth but what is visible to you online. What I'm denouncing here is the invisible behind the visible. The world of appearances and masks. As Honoré de Balzac states in Physiology of Wedding (1830): "Everything is true and everything is false, proclaimed a fact that the naturally sophistical human mind interprets in its own way; for it really seems that human things have as many facets as there are minds that consider them."

Or Oscars Wilde in Wings of Paradox (19960) says:

"What's fashionable is what you wear. What's unfashionable is what others wear. Just as vulgarity is the prerogative of others. And pretenses is the truth of others. "

Finally, in social networks, we become universalist, philanthropic, ambassadors without having a title. You become an influencer, a fashionista, a famous supermodel and a beauty queen without realizing it. Hashtags carry your signature, and you become visible behind the invisible. You can even marry a prince if you feel like it. You'll become rich overnight, but you'll have to live with the consequences of that fame. You decide what you are and what you want to be. If there's no evil in your environment or surroundings, or if your health, morals, religion or culture don't present any drawbacks to your ascent on the backs of others, then you're in the clear: ‘’A society without dreams is a society without a future. ‘’ Carl Jung

She finally wrote her true story and her diary with more details, more discoveries, and more journeys to share her vision of the inner and outer world. Her secret garden that nobody knows, only her, her thoughts, her anxieties, her dreams, the impressions of her empty heart before her parents died and after their death. Writing to build her own world, vanished by a rigid, ignorant system. Through daydreams and poetry, she ruminates on her past, elaborates her anxieties and appropriates them to build and relive herself.

She becomes a writer and poet among the cursed poets who circulate in algorithms, in data or on the web, with no real experience or work. Like somnambulists and zombies, condemned to remain in the virtual between being and appearing. A shining star in a dark sky with an infinite horizon, a wandering soul searching for another soul like itself in search of truth and light in the alchemy of souls. Towards the existential quest for wholeness, not perfection. What Jung reminds us of is the meeting of two chemical substances, after reaction, both are transformed.

End