Crashing with Lilies.

                                                    I was doing good-very good for me, anyways. Maybe even too good. The nightmares hadn't visited me in my awake at all today, nor did I exhaust myself to crashing. I'd been dream-free for about 26 hours, and it was beautiful.
       The students in my fifth hour calmed down as Mr.Pogue took his usual spot at his rolling podium, placed in the front of the classroom. He slammed his copy of Catcher in the Rye down on the podium to gain the attention of the students who were still chatting mindlessly; having paid no attention to his original arrival. Said students quickly ceased their useless conversational gossip; pulled out their copies of the same book, and asked Mr.Pogue what page the class was on. "Page 112," he answered, "Maybe you should pay more attention in class." he added, with that eerie smile of his that told you he was upset. I laughed silently to myself, I was already finished with the book; my class, as most high school classes, was full of the slowest readers I'd ever met. It made me wish I'd never gotten lazy and dropped out of the honors English program at my school.
      As the class began reading; I began to wish I didn't read faster than them, for once in a blue moon. I was beginning to feel my eyelids droop; I felt the exhaustion set in, and I was worried. I told myself, relax, surely you won't have a nightmare in the middle of class; the world, after all, couldn't possibly be that cruel.
     I was wrong, quite naturally. I slipped out of the monotonous reading of my classmate's worlds, and fell into my own harsh reality-For now, that is.
    
         It was twilight now; the sky was a clear, dark blue-black-purple color as it is at night, when the stars went out. Why they weren't out; however, I couldn't tell you- The sky was cloudless, but the moon was still visible. It had an eerie shading from the sky itself on it, and not the sun's reflection; it was as if the sun never existed here. With no glow from the moon either, I became more curious, I didn't just want to watch from the window.
     As I turned around I took in more of my surroundings; I was at Aaron's mother's home, in the guest bedroom. If I was already in bed, everyone must be sleeping already, or at least downstairs, where I cannot go once sent to bed anyways.
     Deciding I would act on my curiousity, as laying back down would do me no good, for I knew sleep would not come to me; I crept out of the guest room so kindly lent to me for the night, and walked as silently as I could out of Aaron's home, pausing just before I reached the door to gather a breath and hope it would not make noise as I opened it- And it didn't.
     I quietly, gently, closed the door behind me, then turned around to face the night air; I took it in a large, deep breath, inhaling it's freezing, heart and soul gripping feel, felt it caress my skin in only a way the breeze before the inevitable can, soothing me and taunting me simultaneously.
    But just standing there wouldn't do it; I didn't just want to be outside, I wanted to go somewhere, or do something. But hell like I knew where I was, I knew how to get to two places from Aaron's mother's house; Ryan, my amazing boyfriend,'s house, and Norup middle school.
    Being the time that it was, I opted for the latter choice, Ryan was no way awake at this lonely time of stillness, the time where death chose which souls it would steal against anyone's given will or unwill; upon this glanced thought I hoped it would not steal the soul of anyone I cared about tonight or anytime soon.
     I reach my destination, shivering in the frigid air; I didn't think to bring a hoodie to keep myself warm. After arriving at the school, my feet continue carrying me around towards the back; I didn't question this, but rather complied as they took me to one of my favorite places-A hill in a corner of the school's property; a hill with many cherished memories in which more will probably take place. I smiled at these beloved memories, and wonder when we'll make new ones.
     I digressed out of my thoughts, relinquishing their accepted hold of my mind, and look towards the top of the hill; pausing before my feet could carry me there. I saw a figure, not dark, not bright, just... There.
    Taking a step towards the figure, I chose to walk up the hill; perhaps not the brightest idea, but I wanted to see who it was, up in my sunset-viewing place, perhaps it was someone I knew. Naturally, this was, indeed, a bad idea as I should have known it would be more than simply "not bright."
     The ground dissipated beneath my feet; I fell, crashing downwards after what felt like a long descent without much time spent dropping. My silent scream resonated in my ears but not aloud as I smacked with a thud unto a cement floor.
     The bluish tinge seen in the sky and on parts of the moon earlier; I saw once again now. And it is only now, in these moments I see what the blue is; the blue is blackness, it is the nothing, the everything, it is what death is and everything we are not. The tainted souls of the tinged cackled as they ate at everything around me; spiraling as the cement cave that was soon to be my resting place, I was sure of it, deteriorated all around me, inching closer and closer; there was no where for me to escape had I wished it so, and I did.
      I tried to cry out in my last moments- for if I was going to die, I wanted my last thought thrown out to echo in the world, and hopefully reach the ears of the soul who I know will always repeat my echo and in doing so reach out to save me; but no words could come, the nothing seemed to have taken my voice long ago, this I had learned when I'd tumbled down upon silly mistakes here to my demise, so I cried out hard as I could in my mind; I told my Ryan I loved him, and as my skin began to crack like clay molded incorrectly and placed in a burner, lily petals seeped out of the cracks; those lily petals were my skin, my bones, my organs and flesh, my everything, transforming into an early death; I watched myself transform into death's charming flower, then saw said petals of myself catch aflame and turn into ash and dust that henceforth disintegrated further until all was out of existance; I tried to scream, to echo, to shout out to that handsome boy I was sorry, but no sound resonated outside of my absent, lilied heart.
    And with that last attempted shout to apologize for my leaving before my true time; I was naught but a soul, a soul with no home and no where to go, for I am forever shackled and chained to Death's cold hand, made to walk by his side and no where else.
    Everything was gone.

                  And then everything was back again; my senses rushed to me as I blinked, bringing my hands up to shield my eyes from the blinding classroom lights; my ears rung from the loud bell, releasing students from their fifth hour to head to the last class of the day. I stood up, feeling light headed as I walked out of the classroom, lagging behind Zach, who I normally walk with to sixth hour.