Insomnia

Chapter 17 of Love from Above

That night, as I lay in bed after the dinner date, my mind begins to race; fretting again about my secret. About what Jeremy would think of me if he found out I wasn’t human. I mean, tonight just seemed so normal, even I almost forgot I’m not human. How can I expect him to be okay with it?

 

My head rolls to look at the clock and I sigh heavily. Three o’clock in the morning. I have been laying here unable to sleep since midnight.

 

I roll out of bed and cross the room to my dresser. I put on my fuzzy plaid jammies and, having forgotten to return it, pull Jeremy’s hoodie over my head. I open my window and, after ensuring no one else is crazy like me and out for a 3 AM stroll, fly down to our side yard. My wings disappear and I venture off to Jeremy’s meadow. After all, he had said it was a great place to think.

 

After almost thirty minutes of wandering through the spooky forest, I begin to worry that I am lost and may never find my way out. Before I have a chance to freak out too much, however, I break through the ferns that surround the clearing. I walk across the dark grass to the ghostly looking gazebo. I step up the creaky stairs, fingers trailing along the cracked paint of the rail. The full moon is positioned perfectly in the biggest hole of the gazebo’s roof. I lean on the railing and sigh at its magnificent beauty, wishing I had the ability to see short distances into the future like some angels do.

 

About an hour later, a creak from behind me causes me to whip around, seizing my chest, where my heart has gone into overdrive. Jeremy holds up his hands, looking contrite.

 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” he murmurs.

 

I stumble back and slide down one of the thick posts. I slide all the way to the ground, still clutching at my pounding heart. Jeremy steps over slowly to crouch in front of me.

 

“Are you alright?” he asks, placing his hands on my knees, eyes searching my startled face.

 

I swallow hard and nod, trying to reign in my erratic heartrate. “Yeah, I just wasn’t expecting you. So, uh, what are you doing out here in the middle of the night?”

 

“I could ask the same of you,” he chuckles, sitting next to me and keeping one hand resting on my thigh. “But to answer your question, I couldn't sleep.”

 

“Me either. My mind wouldn’t shut up,” I say as I lay my head on his shoulder. “So, what’s keeping you up?”

 

“A story my mom told me to try to help me understand my father a little better,” Jeremy sighs heavily. “Turns out I had another sister.”

 

I pick my head up off his shoulder to read his face. Based on the tragic look there, I conclude it wasn’t a happy story. “What happened?” I ask sympathetically, laying my hand atop his in what I hope is a reassuring gesture.

 

“She died. Was killed actually, and my father blames himself for it. He was at the beach with her and looked away, someone snatched her right out from under him. Her name was Sophie. She would have been a few years older than Cheyenne, and according to my mother he absolutely adored her,” Jeremy stares off into the distance as he speaks.

 

I’m speechless, nothing is worse than a child’s life ending like that. I’ve seen what it does to the child’s guardian angel. It breaks them down so thoroughly that they have to be taken off assignment until they recover from the tragedy, if they recover at all. “I’m so sorry to hear that. People that hurt children are the scum of humanity,” I say furiously, venom in my voice.

 

Jeremy is silent for another moment before shaking his head, “It’s awful but it doesn’t excuse the way my father acts because of it.” I scowl at the floor, still enraged at how some humans can be so horrible. Jeremy presses his index finger into the crease between my eyebrows, smoothing it out. I look into his eyes, which seem less troubled than they had moments ago. “So, what brings you out here,” he asks, withdrawing his finger from my furrowed brow.

 

I hesitate, searching his emerald eyes for the answers to my own dilemma and finding curiosity reflecting back. I sigh and look away. “It’s complicated,” I say sadly.

 

“I’m here if you ever want to talk about it,” Jeremy says gently, not pressing the issue.

 

I look back up to meet his gaze, so trusting, so understanding. Maybe he wouldn’t hate me for lying to him. But is that a risk I can afford to take? I don’t know what I would do if he couldn’t get past what I am, my heart is already in too deep. “I can’t yet,” I sigh. “Hopefully soon, but not yet.”

 

Jeremy nods in understanding, “I’ll still be here when that time does come.” The thought makes some of the tightness in my chest loosen.

 

We sit in comfortable silence for a while longer before Jeremy tauntingly tugs at the collar of his hoodie, sending shivers down my spine as his fingers lightly graze the side of my neck. “I’m never getting this back, am I?”

I smirk sidelong at him. “Perhaps. Someday. When it no longer smells like you. Then I’ll have to return it to re up the scent.” Jeremy lowers his head and chuckles softly. Even in the dim lighting I can see a blush creeping up the side of his neck. 

 

He lifts his gaze to me, mischief sparking in his eyes. “I’ll be looking forward to getting it back smelling like you then.” Now it’s my turn to blush. 

The sky begins to lighten on the Eastern horizon. Jeremy looks toward it reluctantly. “Well, I better be heading back. My dad comes back this morning,” he says, rolling onto his feet.

 

“I’m going to stay a little while longer. I still have some thinking to do.” Jeremy leans down to kiss my forehead before turning and disappearing through the ferns.