Poem for Paul

I try, and I try again...

because persistence is a virtue, right?

I try, and I keep on trying... 

because you have to, right?

I try to control the madness in my head...

but my efforts always wind up dead. 

How could it be any other way,

when the madness of my head,

is the madness of the streets?

It is not my madness...

they put it there.

It was not me that killed my efforts...

they killed them. 

The streets.

And the people on them.

And the madness in the heads of they upon the streets.

The "They". 

But I try, and I try again.

Time and again I step off the edge.

Not sure if I am trying to die, or trying to fly.

I just know that you've got to try and do something.

Otherwise you will just be left, standing on the edge,

as it slowly crumbles beneath your feet,

and you are finally pitched forward,

to stumble out into the street,

to be trampled by the mad,

until you die. 

But better to step out boldly than to wait for the step to collapse, right?

Right?

Well, that's what they told me. 

And so I tried. 

And tried again. 

But now my infinity is crumbled, and I am dead.

Author's Note

Written for a competition. Inspired by this original piece:
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/paul999/689823/

Reviews

[paul]

wow, amazing. the first three stanzas read my mind.
wow, again. this poem certainly is for me: it's like the powm i've always tried and tried to write.
'The "They" is a fantastic line. i've always been quite amused by the word "they' used in that context.
i am awestruck by this poem response to mine

[Muse]

But better to step out boldly than to wait for the step to collapse, right?
This was my favorite part of the poem!
This is life! Take the risk...or risk losing your freedom of choice...someone else might make that decision for you. I feel both fear and great courage in this poem. Death is mentioned several times...yet you flirt with the idea of facing it straight on! Very well done...

[Jeremy Baker]

The persistence in questioning, which implies strength and determination, is deashed to death by the ending, which is sharp and unexpected. It hits like a slap in the face and forces this reader to begin questioning all over again - which I am sure you intended! Fatastic poetry!

[Chris]

Reminds me of one of my own... good voice and rhythm...

Take care,
Chris

[Rene Velez]

epic write, the choices we make in life because of our surroundings can be catastrophic, well done...

[Kenneth The Poet]

You have it, Zoe. Your works are so cool.

[Kristi]

wow i liked it.. it for some reason reminded me of phases in my life.. very good very heartfelt

[Arabdha]

the honesty of this poem is disarming..very heartfelt and well written

[luciddreamer]

"But I try, and I try again.
Time and again I step off the edge.
Not sure if I am trying to die, or trying to fly.
I just know that you've got to try and do something"

This was the part that stood out the most for me...overall I thought the writing was excellent...