Unfinished Ode

I don’t know why I feel this way

And I don’t know how to cope

I know that I didn’t know enough

About fear or about love or hope

 

Do I know too much or not enough?

I don’t know my own twisted head

I know enough to fear but one fact

Without him, I may as well be dead

 

I know no strength to fight the hurt

There is no fog can shroud it over

I never manage to escape that fear

Not in drinking nor staying sober

 

There was no fear I could not face

No challenge I would fail to meet

Now I am learning to live with fear

The fear in my heart’s every beat

 

I, the fearless, live in daily terror

Live with awful, ominous dread

For my love grows in the shadow

Of that uncertainty in his head

 

That fear can stop my very heart

Turn my blood and veins to stone

It fills my stomach with bitter ice

Leaves no warmth to call my own

 

It must be the deepest greatest fear

That we human beings can know

That fear of losing our only love

Our sun that makes the soul grow

 

I wilted in darkness I couldn’t see

Until he was brought into my life

And I stood up strong in his light

Hard, strong, I could face the strife

 

And yes, I have found that strength

Far more than I believed I ever could

His love has given that strength to me

And has taught the value of fortitude

 

My love for him, his love for me

Is not any transcendental butterfly

It has shaken our very foundations

But like the phoenix, it will not die

 

His love has somehow deepened me

Something has flourished far within

He has made me into someone more

Than I ever was or did ever imagine

 

The way I feel when I look at him

Opens up a tunnel of happy years

For his eyes shout that he is mine

And between us there are no fears

 

This feeling’s like another world

It has extended my very existence

I would tear the world apart for it

It’s made me better in every sense

 

That’s why I hope so very hard

With every breath of my life

And when I look in his eye

I cannot hold my heart together

So please God let me die.....

Reviews

[Dani]

Oh, but when can we ever see the darkness until it's the only thing there is.
There's a lot to take from this poem - surely my interpretations aren't as good as yours (and I just got done watching Inception, and that works wonders) but this to me feels like the kind of love that is so strong that it's overwhelming... that you love it so much that it's almost imperative that it needs to be let go, thus making you more stable with yourself. Alas, we all speak from out own hearts, so that may not necessarily be correct. But regardless of whether it's right, your poems are always a masterpiece of their own. I hope you always contiue to write, because it's definitely a gift that was given to you.

[SpitfireGrrrl]

Wow. I have goosebumps. I think you've captured that overwhelming fear - and overwhelming depth of love in a simply amazing way.

[.]

i love the imagery and the
sharp-somber perspective
in this piece-and this verse-
"My love for him, his love for me
Is not any transcendental butterfly
It has shaken our very foundations
But like the phoenix, it will not die"
---Amazing!---

Chance

[Owen]

This is my first review, but this is a very good poem, i love how you described the fear of losing someone, as if they are the sun, very creative indeed!