"Stitchy Girl"

This is just a short story that I came up with...

"Stitchy Girl"

There was a neurotic little girl; she had messy, black hair, and wore a black dress everyday. Although, there was a variance between her appearance, and her dexterity with sewing. She always made exquisite little rag dolls, which wore little black dresses, and had black hair like her. Her dolls' stitches were always intact, and she always made them so she wouldn't be inept. Now, when she went to school, she was always teased about her appearance by the other "normal" kids at her school. Now, this little girl had no idea how she should cope with this, she couldn't talk to anybody about it, not even her parents! Well, the little girl was very centered when it came to getting revenge. Everyone thinks that she's unassuming, and didn't think that it would be conceivable that there was something indeterminate about her. The little girl came up with a plan. She would lure the boys and girls with their stolen possessions to her house, and say that she found them. When they entered the estate of the little girl's house they had no idea what they were getting into. After a certain amount of time, neighbors started to notice a hand full of people were missing. So, one of them reported it to the police. When the police arrived at the little girl's house, they found her stitching herself to look like the other stitched teasers, who wore black dresses, and had messy, black hair. Even her parents were stitched there. The police were shocked by the whole torture scene. They inspected the bodies of the victims, and they were already dead. So, they took the girl to an insane asylum, and asked her why she would do this. She said, "I was just giving them a make-over; they said I needed one, so, I gave them one.", with an innocent smile...

Written by Zoe Anne

Author's Note

Just tell me if you think this could be a good novel/novella idea, or a short story in a comic book. You may also share your thoughts about the plot, and anything else. I accept all of your opinions.

Reviews

[WayOath]

Woah, dark, evil, and alluring. It's like the perfect person. lol. The concept of this story is amazing. it would be really cool to see a novel formed around it. Sometimes though, people have great ideas and the best way to make it public is this. If they try to write a novel its like, "What? I don't understand!" and s**t like that. This was really cool though. I like the tense and the wording you used. It was like a dark little short story that could almost be real.

[DeathByChoice]

Oooohhh creepy >:} I like it!
I like the whole "stitching" idea, very creative and psychotic. I was a little wary in the middle when you changed and started talking in the easy tone; you began strong and then started shortening the sentences a little and using "the little girl" and "she" so much it just kind of simplified the tone and made it less... horror? If that's the word I'm looking for. The last few lines kind of seemed bored almost. The idea was amazing, but the whole "So, they took the girl to an insane asylum, and asked her why she would do this." just made it unproffesional? Kind of impracticed which, from the begining of the story, I could tell you didn't really have to write like that. But overall Great job; A!

[Katie Bernard]

I will totally admit to be a little creeped out at the end, makes me love it even more. As a comic book, it would remind me of Jhonen Vasquez's Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. Really great.

[the-One-with-the-Darkne..]

Very good idea for a comic book if u do turn it into a comic iwant to read it

[HorrorMaster]

Yeah I think it will be good idea for a comic book. I love the plot.