Technicolor Dream

Looking at past amazes

they gasp and gaze at where

lifes memories could lead them

astonishing defeat found

space functions but

time is relative, always

 

make of it what they wish

wondering where all adversity leads

no defined path

no crossroads exist here

only technicolor dreams persist

throughout the akward daze

 

lavish undertakings

through concept of reality

give rise to modest endeavors

embrace the unexplored

here is what you find

place of present time stop

 

decline in to state

of relaxed supression

beauty unexamined

the wanderings of ones own

all in pursuit of

the technicolor dream

 

Reviews

[...]

... ah ... what an amazingly dark verse ... a submission that is almost complete ... yet one that somehow ... somewhere ... questions itself ... and propels the reader ... in the end ... towards asking some important questions ... "astonishing defeat found" ... in past "memories" ... "wondering where all adversity leads" ... a profound question ... and universal too ... and yes life rarely hands one roadmaps ... "no defined paths" ... "no crossroads" ... and yes ... "only technicolour dreams persist" ... "throughout the awkward daze" ... brilliantly expressed ... and as time passes ... "lavish undertakings" ... most definitely ... "give rise to modest endeavours" ... and if our momentum continues to be the same ... then we do eventually ... through sheer monotony ... end up in a "state of relaxed suppression" ... "all in pursuit of the technicolour dream" ... this verse is such an impeccably accurate picture of what happens when we let go ... and let life determine our fate ... but as a reader i am wondering if one should really let this sort of an inertia set in ... and if one doesn't want to ... then what would it take to change the momentum ... to take that dream ... and pick each and every colour that one wants to colour it with ... and then ... colour that dream with the colours that make that dream come to life ... what would it take? ... and then if i know what it would take ... am i willing to do what it takes? ... or ... can i get to the point from where i am able to do what it takes? ... how can i empower myself? ... have people empowered themselves before? ... this is ... therefore ... an immensely thought-provoking verse that pushes all the right buttons and makes one ask the most critical of existential questions ... very powerful ...

[A.Lee]

Well written. I like the title you picked. Its intriguing... makes you want to read and find out what the poem is about. Well done.

[Felicity]

again, i like your style.

[(Super) Heroes Never Di..]

I love the title of the piece. It caught my attention instantly, and I'm glad I read it. Technicolor is a such cool word, by the way. It makes me think of happy, bright colors :)
Great poem, I have no criticism :D

[aftervision]

make of it what they wish

wondering where all adversity leads

no defined path

no crossroads exist here

only technicolor dreams persist

throughout the akward daze


this took and stuck with me -- so comforting in knowing that we all go through the same things at different times in our lives