The Beginning

I started this as a poem, but soon realized it needed to be something more. A short story maybe, or the beginning of a novel. I dont know. Let me know what you think.

      It wasnt the first time i embarked alone through the forest to let my mind wander undisturbed. It was the one place I was at ease. Their words weren't enough to get me like this. It was their actions that hurt even worse. I was trapped in that damned house, and it was my only escape, the only one that wouldn't get me into mounds of trouble anyway. On the railroad bridge i sat hoping for the thrill of an oncoming train. That place was mine you know, until he showed up. I was smoking. A little embarassed because no one really does "that" anymore. Weird actually, you would have thought he wouldnt come my way. Well at least not that day. I was fuming mad, mascara stained my cheeks. Between sobs I took drags from my cigarette.  People ask me today if I was scared that a grown man was approaching me. Doom is only as real as you let it be. People sense fear. People also sense "evil". Even if he was some sort of homeopathic rapist, and wanted to take me, it wouldn't have been the worst. He smiled and waved as he approached the bridge, and immediately I knew there was something about him. I couldn't tell if i was extraordinarily attracted or completely repulsed.

       "What the hell", I thought. "Who does this? There's no way he's walking over the bridge". And there was really no need to. The water wasn't very high. Let alone it was an odd place for even me to be. There weren't any houses for at least 300 yards. I thought i had really found a secret place, that only I knew about. He was, well, tall, dark and handsome. His motions were carefree, and there was a general sincerity to them. Normally I would have been terrified to have someone see me like this. Showing emotion was generally something I reserved for hidden places, clear of any person, whatsoever. But I almost wanted him to see me, and the more I looked at him, the more I wanted him to come to me. It was the first time I didn't care. I wanted to laugh and cry with him right beside me,the strangest tide of emotion I could have felt at that time. He was collecting wood. As I expected, he wasn't crazy like me. He actually had a reason for being out there in the woods, alone.

        I was just about to stand up, and walk back to solid ground when he looked up.

        "Are you okay?" He asked in the most non indicative tone I have ever heard in my entire life.

        "Well... Yes, I'm quite alright."

        "Hold on, let me help you cross." He said while walking towards the bridge. I felt like an a*s as the next words left my mouth. Once again my arrogance got in the way of what could have been a friendly encounter.

        "I'm not retarded, I can walk. I got here fine by myself didn't I?"

        "Ok then. Be careful." He stared at me with every step, like I was going to fall to my death or something. I have never seen someone so nervous, but it excited me and I just had to toy with it. I staggered a little towards the end of the bridge, purposely.

       "Oh, that was a close one." I said in my girly high pitched voice.

       "Please be careful, It's not a short walk". He became more and more anxious, and I loved it. All I wanted was just one look at his face before I made my next motion. As I looked, I stepped directly into the gap between the two planks of wood.

        "Snap!" My ankle cracked, and he was running up the hill towards the bridge. I was trying so hard not to wince or cry in pain. I always vowed to never be the damsel in distress, and here I was at the feet of some man unable to walk. Tormented by pain, and embarrasment, he helped me to my feet. "Well, I must say I'm, OH MY GOD! That's painful!" 

         "Here let me carry you, please. You can't walk like this." Before I could answer he swept me off my feet, cradling me like an upset infant. He was gentle. His blazing blue eyes glared into mine as he shook his head and smiled. Its a special moment to have with a person. To really look into someone's eyes and they look into yours. Since then, I've always believed it's one of the easiest passages into someone's soul. And in the moment, that moment, I learned more about him than any hours long conversation could have taught me. I was in love.

 

Reviews

[Pester D. Finches]

This starts of well, but it’s a bit condensed. If you expanded it a bit, the first paragraph could stand alone as a chapter. There is definitely more story to be explored here. That being said, I like it. The character dynamic is interesting and I’m interested to read what happens next.

[Jessica Lewis]

Please review, it's the nice thing to do.