Waiting

Journal #1 8/21/15

Waiting. The clock on the wall mocked my lack of patience as the doctor took her sweet time. For the past few days I hadn’t felt my unborn child kick against my stomach, and that worried me oh so much. “My baby..Oh my baby..” I thought. I couldn’t help but wonder if the other women in the waiting room already had children; children that were safe and very much alive. “Amanda?” the receptionist called. Not me. A woman with long black hair and a husband in arms walked through the door and around the corner. I questioned why the man had not left her. “Children ruin relationships” my long lost lover would say. I don’t know if I quite believed him, but he sure believed it. “Noelle?” the receptionist called out. Me. I walked through the door and a round the corner with no husband in arms, no movement from my unborn baby, and with a heart in the pit of my stomach. “Have a seat, undress from the waist down, and the doctor will see you shortly” The receptionist said as she showed me to my room. So I removed my pants, underwear, and my shoes, then had a seat on the very cold and hard table where once again I waited. About 5 minutes passed then I heard a slight knock on the door. “Come in” I said. “Hello Noelle, I’m Doctor Harris. What are you here for today” I could feel myself tearing up as the words “I think my baby is dead” came out of my mouth. “Well I’m not so sure about that, How far along are you?” Doctor Harris said. “I’m seven and a half months along” “How about I give a good look at you and we’ll see what’s really going on” she said as she laid me back and pulled the stirrups out.