Death of a Crowded Planet

Sinking of the Titanic

The whole lot was outstanding, no trace of complication,

The maiden swollen with pride travelled furiously,

The passengers’ hearts beating faster than common,

Being a fraction of evidence inside the womb of history.

 

Touch of coyness on her cheeks was not in attendance,

Rather dancing with a towering head on the water, 

 Utterly oblivious of the black hand of chance,

The infernal being is getting ready to batter.

 

The water scheming with the ice-berg devoured her in totality,

The crowded planet will laze on the ocean floor save for eternity.

Author's Note

The term 'crowded planet' refers to the Titanic.

Reviews

[Beccy]

Hopefully we will learn where the iceberg lies in waiting before it is too late. Perhaps your intention was simply to write about the Titanic. For me however, this is an attentive metaphor, that throughout the poem sent a clear and unambiguous message that we have no defence, or ever will have, over the awesome power of nature.

Beccy.

[Md. Ziaul Haque]

Thank you a lot indeed. :)

[Draven]

This is an interesting piece. I have never read anything like it, such a historical event described in the form of such beautiful poetry.

[Md. Ziaul Haque]

So nice of you. I feel inspired by your comment indeed. :)

[Tabitha Deasún]

While the poem is definitely more observant in tone that doesn't mean it is flawed or worthy of a defending attack on it. I have devoured anything and everything I can in regards to the Titanic since I was really young, and this poem doesn't make me want to say that you need to write better cause of the poor souls that lost their life. Your poem holds no less merit than one that pulls on the emotions of the loss and pain with more flowery language. This is a good piece and you should be proud of it.

[Md. Ziaul Haque]

I thank you so much for your kind words my friend. Thanks a lot for reading it. :)

[Will Neill]

Tabitha, I would just like to clear up what may have been misjudged in my comment. I was not attacking Md. I have no problem with anyone who wants to write about the Titanic, infact I

would encourge it. The more this story is told the less chance it is lost.What I meant by my crituqe was I have been watching Md post quite a lot of poems lately one after the other in quick succession. Some are good others are ok. I was merely trying to encourge him to produce quality poems wrote with passion rather than just blankly writing observations that will get little or no interest. To step back and read each word before printing. It is well known that massed produced items are never as good as unique one's.
Will Neill

[Tabitha Deasún]

I didn't mean you were attacking in the way you seem to think. I meant more your comment about having to speak up cause of the lost souls when it came to this piece. Some poetry, writing, etc. can be more observational. That doesn't mean it's uninteresting. There are people that like that type of writing actually. As to the mass produced comment, that isn't true. Plenty of writers release rapid work that is just as good as work that may have taken ages in-between and some work that took ages in-between is never as good as some rapidly created works. It really depends on the writer. Now, I will say that it's not good to just submit the stuff unpolished. I have done that before and regret it, but most people don't think about that aspect. I've taken the time to get opinions, editing tips, and so on that way the work can be polished before I share it.

[Will Neill]

It was never my intention to upset anyone.If that has occurred then I apologise.
Will

[Will Neill]

Md. Being from the city famous for the building of this great ship I read your 'poem' with great interest- I myself have done quite a bit of research into why this tragedy happen so I pride myself in having a good amount of knowlage about the R.M.S Titanic and the poor souls who died that fatefull night. Now I am sure you mean no disrespect but your poem to me is nothing more than short lines of observation.
As it is with most of your other works, I have always said that quality is better than quantity so I think you should take your time and produce better. I normaly do not comment on poems that often prefering to write short stories but this subject is very important to me and I must defend it when I can.
Will

[Md. Ziaul Haque]

Thank you so much dear Neill for your comment. I have just tried to picture the way the Titanic went down the water through my poe'ten'ry [poems of ten lines]. I would definitely keep your suggestion in mind.