When They Leave Her

Differnet true stories about brave women who end up alone.

As an Algerian woman, I have a perception of how it is to live as a single woman in our society, for the reason that I’ve met so many of them, it is far from feeling oppressed; rather it is more likely feeling independent ,detached, and isolated. For this matter I’m going to talk about the lives of some single women with whom I have encountered; whether they are mothers, singles, widows, or divorcees.

One of the women that I’ve known my whole life is our neighbor Khayra, who passed away recently at the age of 84 which was sad day to me and to all the neighbors. She lived by herself for several years after her husband passed away leaving her with 6 kids to raise. After she raised them to be adults, they started their own lives like any individual but unfortunately became too busy to visit her; which she complained about it to my mother. She has a son who immigrated to France long time ago as he got a job and a wife there; he visits her from 6 months to 6 months and that’s when her other kids come around and gather in her house; as if they came to see him not her because after he goes back to France they go back to their lives again. Usually my mother goes to her the day after her son leaves to France; so that she won’t feel lonely. However, on every school vacation her daughter bring her kids and visit her, but after they leave she feels isolated again; therefore, she starts to go out to the markets, buys her own groceries, and visits all the neighbors from house to house; because living in her empty house for 24 hours was never easy for her. Although she has two grandsons who permanently by her side, but they were not enough for her.
She was one of the kindest woman in the neighborhood, she always had God prayers in her tongue praying to all of us a happy life. She passed away in peace never suffered any illnesses, in fact I heard her doing housework the day before she died. In that day she was with her grandson, only when her heart started to stop, her kids came and took her to the hospital where she rested in peace.
 
Another woman I’ve met is Mebarka, a single mother in her 50’s who adopted a girl because she is unable to bear children. She got married 3 times and claimed that she can marry any man she wants at her age wondering why some women don’t know how to get a husband as it was easy for her to do so. But unfortunately she was too bad as a housewife that made all of her ex husbands divorce her. She once joked about beating her last husband back after she got in fight with him that’s just before he divorced her. She had to raise her adopted daughter all by herself, due to that, she worked the hard jobs in factories and so on most of her life. Lately she made a celebration lunch for her new house that finally got finished after many years working the hard jobs and actually still working because of the debts she made along. She sometimes sleeps from exhaustion during work in the factory where I work I’ve seen her twice. She has loudmouth that led to her being fired twice from work; that is the main reason people wouldn’t help her to get decent life, plus she is also rude and nosy in other people’s lives. She constantly saying that living as single is way better than having a partner; she claims that she doesn’t need any man in her life and that living as an independent woman is the best decision that she ever made.
 
Sakina in her 70’s, our neighbor a very special woman minding her own business and living in her own world. She is very independent of what to wear as well as where to go; such as carrying an umbrella in sunny days which people find her amusing when she does that. She got divorced from her husband most likely because he used to profit from her deceased husband’ wage and never spend it with her. They did not bear kids during their first years together but soon after they adopted a daughter she immediately got pregnant and by then had two daughters. After a few years of her husband taking all of her money she finally decided to divorce him and raise their two daughters by her own. She lived with her late husband’s salary that he left her and had to do the father duty to raise them because their father was absent most of times; although by justice the father should pay their expenses. Nowadays she lives by herself because both of her daughters got married and they do visit her every few days. She spends most of her time walking from street to street, mainly because of the boredom in her silent house.

Another family woman Yamina, a widow in her 70’s. Her husband passed away when she was pregnant with their 5th child so she had to raise her 4 daughters and a son by herself. As a kid I remember that her house was crowded with her 4 daughters, except nowadays after all of them got married from out of town, the house feels so empty, silent, and definitely not the same anymore. They left big void in her house after they got married; in fact, all of them live one hour to five hours far from her. She does not go out for walks since she has a problem with her legs, thus she can’t walk like she used to and that depressed her because staying in that silent house is very hard to endure. I even saw her in tears because she missed her daughters to be around her, on top of that she did not know what to do to pass her time, she said watching T.V. is boring, walking around is impossible for me, and above all my daughters lives very far from me.
 
Many old ladies are suffering the same way, only with different reasons of ending up alone. You can see some of them enjoy to be independent, but at the end of the day they get exhausted from life instability. It is never going easy for those old women to spend the rest of their lives by themselves as it is very challenging. I believe in humanity; therefore, being kind to those old lonely ladies or even giving any sort of help definitely wouldn’t cost you anything.

Author's Note

I hope you enjoy reading it. It is personal paper because those women been such an inspiration to me, regardless of their personalities. Do you believe in humanity?