I am righteously blown away that this was your first poem in grade 12! You probably know I love a mean mono-rhyme & your uneven rhythm lends an interesting beat. Most who start out rhyming use the over-used common rhyming riffs, so I'm delighted to see your complex rhymes. It feels like it starts out a little slowly, but then your passion in the message seems to build & build, as you go (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie
Well, I think it is typical of teenagers of that time! You were experimenting with rhyme (and assonance and alliteration) and you express the emotions of the young, whose love is not to be, very well. I had to smile at the last four lines ..... dare I say it ... my sentiments entirely!!!!!
And when I think of the pap I wrote when I was younger... never wrote any poetry in grade 12... :)
This is absolutely lovely, high-gloss storytelling and rhyme, with mythology, legend and ganja woven expertly in!! I have no personal experience with ganja, but that might be the difference between what most teens come up with, and this elegance.
I am righteously blown away that this was your first poem in grade 12! You probably know I love a mean mono-rhyme & your uneven rhythm lends an interesting beat. Most who start out rhyming use the over-used common rhyming riffs, so I'm delighted to see your complex rhymes. It feels like it starts out a little slowly, but then your passion in the message seems to build & build, as you go (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie
Wesley, this is a well-written poem that certainly gets your message across in rhyming format. It made me think of the old cliche, "The pen is mightier than the sword."
Very expressive and an enjoyable read. Keep writing! :-)
You can try and take away my voice but you can never take away my pen. I tattoo life onto paper injecting my aspirations and emotions.
“I’ve never seen someone come to the point of sel.. more..