Chapter 11

Lucy

 

I was awake, but again with my eyes closed. The place I was now in didn't have the same feel as the hotel room. I felt presences in the room, but they weren't near the bed I was laying on. I was just glad that all of that pain from my breakdown on the sidewalk was gone. I could breathe again, and my head didn't hurt as much.

     I slowly opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling above me. To my right was a window, open with the late morning sun filling the room. I turned my head to the left, and saw Alphonse was camped out in one of those uncomfortable chairs. A few feet away was a door that probably led to a small bathroom. My assumption was right when I heard a toilet flush.

     My heart felt like it was splitting in two when Edward walked out of it.

     "Hey," I mumbled weakly, trying not to meet his gaze.

     "You're awake," he said, sounding relieved. He walked over to his brother and shook him awake.

     "You scared me," Alphonse said as he came over and sat on the edge of my bed. I sat up, ignoring the stiffness in my neck and my bones cracking as I did so.

     "What happened?" I asked, not totally sure what happened.

     "The doctor said you were hyperventilating," Alphonse said, his voice level as he said it. "It's kind of like an anxiety disorder thing that can happen from time to time. It's no big deal."

     "No big deal?" I asked, glaring at him. "That hurt like hell. I felt like I was dying! How is it no big deal?!"

     "I'm just saying what the doctor told Brother and I," Alphonse said, trying to calm me down. "He also says to keep a paper bag with you at all times."

     "Why the f**k do I need a paper bag?" I asked, feeling completely annoyed and frustrated over nothing. I was completely confused and irritated. I felt like screaming.

     "That's what saved you!" Alphonse shouted, now completely irritated himself. "It was breathing into the paper bag that did it! Just trust me on this, I don't know how to explain it."

     "Fine," I muttered, staring out the window. Alphonse sighed and he stood up from the bed, going over to the door.

     "Brother," he said. "I think you should talk to her." I tensed, remembering that Edward was in the room, too. He was silent almost the whole time. I heard the sounds of the door opening and closing, and Alphonse's footsteps trailing away down the hall.

     I glanced at Edward, my head down. He was slumped in the chair Alphonse slept in. Guilt and shame was written across his face. He didn't look up. He didn't say anything.

     "You can talk," I said softly, staring at the sheets in front of me. "but before you do, I should apologize." I looked at him. He was looking at me, shock on his face.

     "Alphonse told me everything," I said. "and I know what he told me is true. I'm sorry for getting all jealous and stupid like that, Ed. I'm sorry."

     "For what you saw, and how it looked," Edward said, just as soft as I spoke. "you had every right to get angry like that. I'm...I'm sorry, too." My heart felt like an ice block in my chest. If Edward ever found out about what I did, things would permanently fall apart.

     I couldn't face that, but I knew I would have to, at some point.

     "Lucy, I didn't lie to you when I said I loved you," Edward said, getting up from his chair. He took a few steps to the bed, and I suddenly said sternly, "Don't come closer!" Guilt was overpowering me.

     He paused where he was, a hurt look on his face. "I'm not going to hurt you, Lucy," he said, shoving his hands in his pockets. "What's the matter?"

     "I'm sorry," I said quietly, keeping my head down. "I'm sorry." A sob entered my voice and I clenched my jaw, my hands turning to fists. "I...I..." I sighed heavily, groaning, and I faced him, shouting, "Edward, I slept with someone last night!"

     Dead silence as the tension felt heavy in the room. I was afraid I was going to hyperventilate again, so I tried to keep my breathing under control. I couldn't pull myself away from Edward's shocked gaze.

     "You...what?" he whispered. He stumbled back a step and fell to his knees.

     "Why?" he asked. "Why would you...? Lucy, I..."

     "I was drunk, Edward," I whispered. "not like that makes it any better, but I had no idea what was going on. I was so angry with you last night, I....I don't know exactly what was going through my mind. But whatever ounce of forgiveness you have, don't waste it on me." My rambling was buzzing in my ears. I kept my head down. My hands were still in fists, my knuckles looking like they were turning white. My eyes teared up, the bitter droplets falling to my hands. 

     "It's okay," I heard Edward whisper. "It's...it's okay, I...I forgive you..."

     "Shut up!" I screamed, letting out my emotions. "Don't forgive me! You can't! I don't deserve it! Not after I hurt you like that....no...!"

     "It's okay!" Edward shouted again. My head snapped up to glare at him and tell him again to shut up when he was suddenly at my side, his arms around me tightly. I knew what he was playing. He didn't want it to be true. He wanted to forgive and forget it.

     "At least you're okay," he whispered, stroking my hair. "You're okay, and so am I...and we can just forget this ever happened. Okay?"

     After a few hesitant moments, I whispered, "Okay, Edward."

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I was discharged from the hospital, given a crap-load of paper bags, and Lieutenant Hawkeye drove me to the station. Edward left a few hours before. Where he went, I wasn't sure. Hopefully, not off to drink and get laid.

     He's not that stupid, I kept telling myself.

     We pulled up to the train station.

     "Thanks for the ride, Riza," I said quietly as I got out of the car.

     "Take care of yourself, Lucy," she said as I closed the door.

     "Will do." I turned and walked into the train station, thus purchasing my ticket and boarding my train.

     The ride to Resembool was boring and there were little kids and babies screaming the whole way. A new fear speared through me as thoughts of pregnancy flashed through my mind. I tried to will away the scary thoughts, but they always came back.

     The train eventually pulled into Resembool, and I was one of the first ones off the train. I stared at the dirt road ahead of me and took my time walking back to my little home by the river.

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Edward was sitting on the porch steps when I arrived at my house.

     "Hey," he said, a weak smile on his face.

     "Hey," I said back, sitting on the steps next to him. We sat there a few minutes, just staring at the scenery that never seemed to change. Edward's fingers laced through mine at one point, and I decided to go along with his idea of forgive and forget.

Author's Note

Oh, Lucy. Things are going to get much, much worse for you. Just wait and see.

Reviews

[Anonymous]

*bawling* EDWARD IS SO FORGIVING! BLUBBERBLUBBERBLUBBER! I am so excited to see how you make Lucy even more miserable! XD Maybe some ideas that I gave you will come into play soon enough... Hehehe...

[dachildofevil]

What? What? WORSE??
well, i was planning to mentally and emotionally torture her so i guess i cant get mad at you for torturing her :3
anyways.... AWWWW!!

[Emunah June.]

Awww :D Cute!~