Chapter 16

A Chapter by Keevan

It's been a week since Edward and Alphonse left, and still no word from them. Well, actually, Winry and Pinako got a letter from them, but my mailbox remains empty. And I still haven't been able to forget what Envy--if that was the real Envy--had said. About the madness and insanity. It's made me a little jumpy lately, and I've started seeing small shadows darting around the house, so I'm thinking the insanity part is coming true.

At least, I think it is.

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"Did you get a letter from Ed and Al yet?" Winry asked as we looked at the many fruits for sale. We decided to take a trip to the marketplace and buy some stuff just for the heck of it.

"No, I didn't," I said, trying to keep my face an enigma. "Excuse me, sir, I'll take three pomegranates." The man running the stand put three of the red fruits into a plastic bag and handed it to me as I exchanged him the money. "Thank you."

"Why do you think that is?" Winry asked as she took a bite into a green apple she bought. "Edward's always written to me in the past."

"I'm not you," I said, yawning. We took a seat on a nearby bench, and I yawned for the twelfth time that day.

"Lucy, are you getting enough sleep?" Winry asked. "You've been so tired lately."

"I'm fine," I said, taking out a red apple I had bought. "just tired, if it wasn't obvious enough." I paused, and took a bite. "But, I have been a little on the jumpy side, lately."

"You've been acting strange ever since the boys left," Winry said, as if she was trying to piece together a puzzle. She looked me up and down, mumbled hrmmm and finally said, "I know what's wrong."

"What?" I asked, taking another big bite of apple. I didn't expect what she was going to say.

"You're in love with Edward!" she practically squealed.

She squealed, I choked on my apple.

After a coughing fit, I said--my voice not entirely back--,"What do you--? How did you--?"

"It's something called the All Seeing Eye," she said. "In other words, even though you're a tough case to crack, I figured it out. You've been happier living with Edward than ever. And ever since he left, you've been more depressed, and you're losing sleep at night. Simple as that."

"Gah!" I said in defeat. "Well, it's out there."

"So, have you told him yet? Huh?! HUH?!" she pestered. "And how does he feel back?!"

"Winry, here are a couple of easy signs that I haven't t-told him," I started. "One, if I told him, do you think he'd be gone? Or neglecting to send me a letter?"

"You're right, you're right," she said, not as enthusiastic as before. "So, I guess you wouldn't know if he loves you back."

"Such a stupid word," I grumbled. "love."

"No one's ever told you they love you before, have they?" Winry asked accusingly.

"Well, no," I replied. "I've heard it before, it's just never been directed at me."

"Pop quiz!" Winry said. "What would you do if Edward told you he loved you?" My heart fluttered in my chest, imagining it. Edward whispering the three sacred words in my ear...

"Absolutely nothing," was what came out of my mouth. "because it's impossible. There's a reason that no one's ever told me they love me. I'm completely unlovable. A female assassin who's a Homunculus."

"I wouldn't say that," Winry said, sounding sympathetic. "I've seen the way he looks at you."

"Well, if that's the case, then you're the only one who's noticed anything at all."

"Not true!" she said. "Grandma noticed, too. So did Alphonse."

"He did?"
"That's the whole reason Ed went away with Al," Winry said. "Al was going to talk to Edward about it, maybe get him to confess something! We're all doing this for you, Lucy!"

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After walking back to the Rockbells', I left Winry there and went back home. I felt tired from the talk I had with Winry, and the pomegranates needed to get refrigerated.

The whole way back, I felt like I was being followed.

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I couldn't of gotten in the house fast enough. The creepy feeling that I was being followed didn't go away, either. I shivered and made sure all of the lights were on, even though it was the middle of the day. I looked around timidly for the shadows, and froze when I caught sight of one.

"Uhh," I mumbled, hearing a thump upstairs. I looked around the kitchen and saw that there were some dishes that needed to be washed, so I decided to focus on that.

While I was washing dishes, things started to sound more and more far away and quiet. My vision got black and fuzzy around the edges. I started laughing. REALLY laughing. I didn't remember what was so funny.

The whole time, Envy's voice was echoing through my mind: The madness and insanity have caught up. You had the chance to run and failed. Let you be raped of your sanity! Let the madness sink in! I was laughing so hard, I dropped the plate I was cleaning. It shattered to the floor.

"It--it broke!" The words exploded out of my mouth in a fit of giggles. The insanity--the madness made me feel so good, so happy! Happiest I've felt in so long!

Let it control you! Envy continued. He sounded like he was right next to me, shouting it in my ear. This is what we really are! Just little pieces of insanity in this chaotic world we live in! Let madness and insanity consume you!

I was literally losing my mind. I fell on my butt on the floor and--while still laughing devilishly--I picked up pieces of the broken plate. I saw my reflection slightly, and all of a sudden, I screamed.

That wasn't me in the reflection. It was a monster. A maniac. What I saw in the reflection was--maybe--my true form of a Homunculus, like Envy's. But, mine looked more human. It wasn't a big green monster. It was me, but a chalky white face, black stained lips, brownish-greyish hair, and a mind sucked away by madness and insanity.

It wasn't my reflection. I didn't want to be whatever that was. I threw the pieces of plate across the room and--now back to my normal self--shakily stood up and ran out of the house.

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