What not to do at a New Year's Party

Happy New Year!

What not to do at a New Year’s Party

1. It is best for yourself, and everyone else, if you do not attempt to impersonate Lady Gaga. Even when she comes on the screen. You will end up being thrown into the punch bowl.

2. Do not be the one to spike the punch bowl, because you are not aware of how many other people have already spiked the punch bowl and therefore could end up with an enormous mess in your house come morning. And many strange people you have never seen before.

3. Don’t. Eat. The. Brownies.

4. If you are politely invited to a group game of “truth or dare” fun, kindly refuse. The police and alcohol don’t mix well together. At all.

5. Make sure that when it is time to pop the streamer popper things, that they are pointed away from your face. True story.

6. You will inevitably have one friend, at least, who is an absolute idiot of the highest degree, and should not allow him near the fireplace. Friends such as these have a tendency to throw their half-empty beer bottle into said fireplace for an unwanted chemistry class session.  

7. Don’t be the one person that absolutely EVERYONE sees nude.

8. Don’t. Eat. The. Gummy. Bears.

9. And, most importantly, do not be the one who hosts the New Year’s Party. Cleaning up teddy bears, vomit, severed limbs, glass shards, and streamers the next morning is the absolute worst, and the hangover will not make it any more bearable. Instead, go trash someone else’s home for the upcoming year.

 

Cheers! 2014 is on the horizon.

Author's Note

This is just me being silly, I know absolutely none of this from experience (except maybe number 5...), but came up with it and thought it was kind of funny. Happy New Year! Review and I will review back.

Reviews

[Chaz Hemsworth]

In just 10 months I'll break them all at once for über lols. I live this list because it is 100% true.

[s y e]

Ha, number 5 made me laugh so much!

I dunno whether to listen or go try them all..... maybe I'll try them infront of the mirror so I don't look like a banshee! LMAO!

[David Lerner]

"Don't imitate Lady Gaga"?
That's insane, you sir, are insane

[Anthony Gerrard]

It made me smile. I once used to go to parties like this. Now I just have children...

Ah, happy days.

Well written, witty and a good morality tale.

[AveTN]

I wish I had read this before the New Year haha. I did end up playing Truth or Dare, and I was coerced into doing some not too pleasant things for which I am shamefully dishonored and humiliated. But it was fun nonetheless :) From the style of writing I would say you have experienced every single one of these on the list, who would have thought? Great list, and so true.

[Alexis]

LOL It'd so true!. but we never through parties so we don't have that problem

[Rosemary]

Hahaha... I cracked up at point 6... Fab!

[Vidya Bacchus]

This was very funny and I absolutely enjoyed it.

[ZeniaK]

Thank you Vidya!

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are welcome

[Nusquam Esse]

A tad bit over the top, but that just makes it fun. Only one here I can relate to was #7... but it was from sleep deprivation, and not from alcohol. Nothing quite like walking into a room completely naked, AND THEN waking up, AFTER everyone has already notice your interesting choice in attire; unfortunate, because I prefer to show off my satire! #1 only applies if you are small enough for people to get anywhere near a punch bowl. I am a large and imposing guy; even when I am singing One Direction songs ironically in falsetto, no one even attempts getting me into that punch bowl.

[MOON]

This is fun , crazy New Year's parties.

[ZeniaK]

haha thanx MOON