Broken Orchestra

A Poem by Peter Zaelio

When I'm with you I feel weak,
Yet, you are my strongest driving force.
A paradoxical anomaly created just to confuse me. The human form of a conundrum, if you will.
Each move I make carefully calculated and thought out like an expert chess player stepping up to the final game of a tournament.
Yet as time progresses our moves look effortless and intertwined in an intricate waltz that fools the world into thinking we have it easy.

It wasn't always this way.

At one time it did come easy. Every impulse acted upon led us to a cavernous pit of confusion. Caught between the thoughts of tomorrow and wishing today would last forever, we claimed,
"It is what it is, till it isn't"
And so it was, and it continued until it wasn't, and our dance came to an end, not by the final bars of our beautiful sonata, but by an abrupt breaking of a first chair violin string.
When it no longer was, it became an empty space that begged for an answer to the question, "Now what?"
Was this a destructive finality, or was it the cold void of a pause?

When I decided to press play and repair what had been bent and bruised, but never truly being broken, it became what can best be described as stitched. Much like the nurses in a pediatric ward, I ignored the scars on our newly repaired fledgling friendship, and instead focused forward, finding that my feelings were best felt in private.
Still yet you inquired as to the nature of my return, in a manner that could only be described as equal parts sadness and curiosity, topping off elation. To which I only replied, "Because I missed you."
Sometimes the simplest answer can describe the truth the most accurately. Between the sleepless nights and the stressful days, every moment seemed to reflect an old Walkman with a dying battery; everyday felt slow and devoid of any spark that it had once contained.
I was miserable without you.
So now our orchestra plays once again, but our dance this time is one laced with caution and one founded in fear. The string section still rings, but with the worried hands upon the strings.

© 2016 Peter Zaelio

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. serah .

-- i'm amazed by how beautifully and poignantly you describe a complex aspect in a yin and yang equation... -- some parts of that fear and worry are things that i can relate to but some are completely unique to your story/situation... -- yet your writing provides a reader like me with some powerfully sensitive and perceptive insights... -- i think i'm going to try to be a better listener in my personal life because i read this piece... -- thank you for sharing your words...