Prisoner

He is trapped in his own vices

"We all live in the tired tires of our minds. Our kind will just unwind and cringe, hanging on just by a hinge of hope. You think to yourself 'nope' this can not be. But what you lack to see is we are failing just to be alive. Yes, we strive, yes, we die, yes, we wish that we could fly and can't, but that is just okay with me. Take my hand away from me, you'll see. You cannot mask what is real. You feel it now more than ever, singes in your hands were clever, tinges of the pain from weather as you sit and try to tether up. Tied around your neck you have a knack to be a wreck just like myself and all my friends who have all died for all their sins. You cry that you do not want to be alive and all you do is sit and strive for just a chance to be deprived of life. So take it when it comes. Take the chance as death does hum and spits you out like chewing gum. Goodbye my life long friend, your brain can see this is the end." He stepped forward as a release washed over him and he fell. No more regrets and no more demons to slam against his skull as he lived a boring life with too many secrets he had to leave behind. He was done, and like all of the others involved, plunged head first into the grey ocean of rocks below. He was done being stuck as a prisoner in his mind, and when the relief came it was heaven. He escaped his fate by meeting it, and only then was the prisoner able to release him. The suicidal thoughts were gone as he lay, bloodied on the ground. Good night, prisoner. We'll see who follows next.

Author's Note

Does this sum up a general theme or message?
Does the overall vague feeling feel appropriate for what is going on?
Is it apparent that he can not actually let go because he still can not admit to himself his actions even as he is dying?
Is the monologue at the beginning obviously his own mind?

Reviews

[mojave]

woahkay. this piece really hit me hard. the writing is beautiful with it's subtle not-so-subtle rhyming schemes. the metaphors used lingered on the intention of this piece without making it obvious. beautifully done, looking forward to more from you :)