Abused

Types of abuse

Abuse is normalized as being hit, attacked, beaten, but the stigma behind that has gone on to long abuse is so much more than JUST being hit.

With the violent abuse there's always a sign or near enough. You know when they will snap once a pattern has formed and then it turns into mental and physical abuse you change your everyday life, everyday activities that you have always done, and enjoyed doing, you close yourself off to the world to try to protect yourself, you cut yourself off because you believe that you have done something wrong, that all these things you’ve always done, some how are the problem so you stop, you don't go to the gym any more, go out with friends or family you stop talking to people, and for a while it might get better you think you've fixed the problem but its temporary, the violence will start again, and you may not see it coming because you think that you’ve sorted all the issues that made them hurt you, Physical abuse is well known and its easier to see that your in a relationship like that. It takes time it always does because you want to believe the best in them, that they love you, they care, you say it was my fault, I did this, or that, I forgot something. You blame yourself you start reading into everything you do, that you think sets them off. But its NOT your fault! You can't even breathe without being scared you've done something wrong. You stop sleeping, one day you will get the fear that they are going to kill you, and by then they've won because they have locked you off from everything and everyone. You alienated yourself to make things work because you wanted it so badly. When that time comes you feel you can't get help because know one checks up on you, you don’t go out anywhere on your own, your never left alone long enough to get help and you don’t know where you can turn and you wont call the police out of fear they will buy their story more than yours and they will retaliate and hurt you again. At that point you stay because its too late. But believe me its not you can still get out, even if the police wont do anything about putting them behind bars you can still get away buy calling them and asking them to take you somewhere else, your friends even though you may not have spoken to them for a long time they will still be there for you chances are they saw it coming and tried to warn you but you was so in love and needed to believe in your partner that you just wrote them off saying they was jealous.

You can get help! Its not to late.

Physiological abuse is a lot harder to see they make everything your fault they don’t even have to say it or hit you because they go for your soul slowly eating away at it and a pattern is so much harder to find. They break you down without you even knowing it, they kill your spirit and they get off on doing it.

They treat you kind you say they love me, they don’t hit me, they’re just jealous, they care they just want to know I look good before I go out, they just want a quick call or text every hour or so while you're out so they know your safe they come off all cute and caring until one day you don’t have time to send a picture or make a call or send a text and they, go into a silence fit, or they yell at you, or maybe they just tell you that they would feel safer if they went with you every time you go out so they know that you're safe and they can see what your doing, and they say it so nice and play the role of caring and charming that you say okay and you don’t see a problem an till the next time you have plans to go out and they say oh they cant come because of something and then they kinda trick things around they say they're fine with you going on your own just keep in touch but they make it clear with their actions that its not okay but you still go and then they are angry that you did. They go on rants about what you was doing they tell you their insecurities and explain their actions away and you feel sorry for them and at the same time you feel that its all your fault so the next time you have plans you tell them again and they say they cant go but they say just go have fun and you feel you cant because it would upset them. So you put your plans on hold. And then they have you, you cant text without them looking over your shoulder. You cant have a call without having to tell them, you cant even take your phone into the bathroom with you with out them giving you a piece of they're mind.. You stop living your life because they make you feel you can't, and you alienate yourself from everyone and everything. Your life just stops its no longer yours you do what they tell you, you can.. but what they don’t see is its not their words its the actions and if you call them out on it they tell you I never said you cant, I never told you to do that, they just don’t see it and they put it all on you that its all your fault you did it all yourself and technically they are right they never used the word but they did tell you you couldn’t do these thing and tell you to stop with their actions.

Actions are everything, words mean nothing if they don’t add up to your actions.