Click to zoom in close up to side pic
This is about Autumn with a blend of eastern and western terms to describe the autumnal season and colours and to embody the commonly heard phrase, " she was marr
🍁🍁 🍁 A bevy of invisible houris
and imaginary fairies,
cavorted about as elfin brides
under a saffron maple tree🍁🍁🍁
Dressed in prism-hued layers
of chiffon in ethereal shimmers
and delicate silken gossamers
They having their group wedding in the fall
And fairy folk bustled about all round
as flimsy and flighty as they could be
while saffron leaves fell upon the brides🍁🍁🍁
🍁🍁🍁 in ceremonial nuptial
An autumn's ritual
and as nature's pretty confetti! 🍁🍁🍁
Click to zoom in close up to side pic
This is about Autumn with a blend of eastern and western terms to describe the autumnal season and colours and to embody the commonly heard phrase, " she was married in the Fall"
My Review
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Such a lovely nature poem! The imagery is spectacular. There is a bit of whimsy in this....fairy tale like. I enjoyed it. Lydi**
Posted 2 Years Ago
2 Years Ago
Yeah it is a mix of imagination, nature, religious faith and cultural terms,. Warm thanks for lovel.. read moreYeah it is a mix of imagination, nature, religious faith and cultural terms,. Warm thanks for lovely comment, 🍁
“A bevy of invisible houris
and imaginary fairies,
cavorted about as elfin brides
under a saffron maple tree “
Yours is a truly celebratory and beautiful photo and colorful autumn imagery! “Elfin brides” and “brownie grooms” join hosts of “angelic houris” dazzling nature with their spicy saffron silks and henna-tinted stardust…Absolutely Love this poem and all its exotic and fiery hues!
Posted 2 Years Ago
2 Years Ago
Wow warm thanks poetess, your comment was a fab rephrasing of my autumn poem, a lil poem in itself. .. read moreWow warm thanks poetess, your comment was a fab rephrasing of my autumn poem, a lil poem in itself. Take care,
As I recall it, houris are something like what those in the west would call angels. Along with other legendary beings in this offering, they celebrate the autumn season with a group wedding. A lot of colorful autumnal imagery here. There is also a hint of the coming winter here with the mention of denuded branches. Not a cause for sadness, though, for spring will return.
Posted 2 Years Ago
2 Years Ago
Hii poet, thanks soo much for great comment,im super glad and thrilled you know about houris, yes th.. read moreHii poet, thanks soo much for great comment,im super glad and thrilled you know about houris, yes they are heavenly female angels but we do believe from our hadith that Adam's kids married houris because they couldn't have married their siblings to procreate humanity. So houris did descend upon earth and as angels still visit earth so my imagination n poetry is not too far fetched perhaps.
Um i thought Autumn is when trees shed their leaves.
Thanks soo much for great super comment!
S this is a great poem. A terrific soup of mythical and modern sensibilities. I do agree with my good friend Winston, the weeny wedding is a bit jarring, and in western culture "weeny" is a slangish put-down. You might want to reconsider its usage here. If you are looking for small, and want to keep the mythical motif, might consider waifish, or waif
Otherwise your poem is a marvellous little gem
Ken e
Posted 2 Years Ago
2 Years Ago
Yeah this is a blend of fairytale, nature, religious characters all in one. Just read my reply plz t.. read moreYeah this is a blend of fairytale, nature, religious characters all in one. Just read my reply plz to the other poet.
And thanks for giving me a better word, let me see how i use it.
Thanks soo much too for fab review.!
This is really good but I think “weeny wedding” is too alliterative and maybe alter that line to they are waiting for the wedding if you want to use alliteration. That’s my thoughts.
Winston
Posted 2 Years Ago
2 Years Ago
Um yeah its been a while that some poets show dislike for alliteration on every site i write but sin.. read moreUm yeah its been a while that some poets show dislike for alliteration on every site i write but since it is a form of poetry i wonder why it isn't loved as other forms like pun or iambic etc. I enjoy alliteration and trust me some western poets do too as there are contests esp asking for the alliteration form.
That said, im not perfect in English as you must be since urdu not English is my mother tongue so i don't even know well what's slang or not.
Thanks so much for constructive criticism.
2 Years Ago
I like and use alliteration often- it’s your choice of words I think throws it off. The “weeny�.. read moreI like and use alliteration often- it’s your choice of words I think throws it off. The “weeny” to me does not fit the tone of the poem.
Just my opinion.
W.
2 Years Ago
Ps: I am impressed how good you while handicapped by a second language. I could not do that.
Yeah man none of you could even write a haiku in urdu eh.☺😊 I did change the word weeny to grou.. read moreYeah man none of you could even write a haiku in urdu eh.☺😊 I did change the word weeny to group now.
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
2 Years Ago
You could also use something called assonance, which is vowel sounds repeated, as in "They will hear.. read moreYou could also use something called assonance, which is vowel sounds repeated, as in "They will hear the bells for their wedding in fall" (bells/wedding)
This delightful poem brings to mind some of the paintings of Richard Dadd, the English painter, who specialised in fairy themes and other flights of fancy. Your poem is poetically descriptive and a pleasure to read!
Posted 2 Years Ago
2 Years Ago
Thanks soo much for fine comment, would luv to look up Richards paintings. Cheers,
I like to call myself a poetess even though I'm no professional or conventional at writing poetry.
Have been writing poems for some time and readers say they get message and/or entertainment from the.. more..