Every Man-Made thing Seems To Be ' Made in China '

I posted this poem of mine on many sites

Everything I buy to touch and taste
is made in China, made in China
let alone my china set, even my toothpaste
is made in China, made in China.

From my pencils to my stencils
to the golden locks on my stylish lockers
all bear labels of 'made in China' in block capitals
and that explains the thriving of doorbell hawkers.

And for 'economical' me, stuff made in China
does hold a lot of frugal charms
Comes all the way from China, my granny's parka
About 'made in China' I've never had any qualms.

And because I don't intend to fritter away
hard-earned savings on any frippery
for 'made in china' alone shall my purse'n' pocket pay
and don't they play their part perfectly,
both my 'made in China' stereo and frisbee?

And all that 'made in China cutlery and crockery
is just as fragile and breakable as any other
All my life I've stuck to made in China stationery
and their costs haven't been any exorbitant so far.


I've seen latest high quality Chinese huawei cellphones
You can get long lasting quality TV sets of the chinese Hisense brand
You can wisely avoid debts and loans
purchasing brand new grand stuff from
the Chinese land

And then to my surprise I discovered
that many people both here and abroad
tended to buy things made in the land of the Great Wall
for similar reasons: including, they're easier to afford.

Ah, I don't like the idea of squandering away
or thoughtless wasting of wealth
No one could ever make a spendthrift out of me
For that would be unhealthy for budget health!

Are the chinese most proficient at making efficient things?
They manufacture our durable slings and swings.

To refrain from prodigality and unfeeling extravagancy
'made in China' seems to me the solution
Let millionnaires make-believe that only the costly has quality
for I ain't gonna buy that pricey notion!

Reviews

[Lydia Shutter]

Ah, I don't like the idea of squandering away
or thoughtless wasting of wealth
No one could ever make a spendthrift out of me
For that would be unhealthy for budget health!

This was my favorite stanza. Indeed, everyone likes to save money. Buying merchandise made in China usually does that for many. It's a shame that the USA can not make items as economical here on home soil. Good write. Lydi***

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Warm thanks for great fab comment, interesting that even Americans find 'made in USA ' expensive. read moreWarm thanks for great fab comment, interesting that even Americans find 'made in USA ' expensive.

[Weeping willow]

Interesting write on Chinese flooding America with their products, it seems a struggling battle to find something made in America these days. When I was young we made our own products, America was a much prouder country then. Good flow of words ;-}

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Yeah its the same thing with every country mostly. The chinese are smart active hardworking people manufacturing everything for the whole world while the rest of locals lag behind lazily.
Warmest thanks for a very fine lovely apt comment.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Hmm, you really make me think about this poem of yours, not just the topic but the way you wrote it too, it all reads like a newspaper article about you. You vibe such a different feel here for poetry that I really admire. Wonderfully explained and expressed. tyfs

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Um yeah its about me and others, since most stuff is made in china and most people seem to buy stuff mostly made in china.
Im glad you are of those who like the inevitable difference you see in my poetry due to my eastern background, i mean i enjoy western poetry so you guys can enjoy our eastern poetry too. Thanks soo much for the super great feedback.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I don't buy anything Made in China if I can help it because I'm against child labor, sweat shops, communism and human rights violations. I'm living below the American poverty level and have been all my life but mostly junk and trash come from China; poison dog treats, poison medicines like ranitidine laced with toxic levels of asbestos and talcum powder alike, causing cancer in those who use them. Flammable clothing for toddlers, cheap, fall apart merchandise that isn't worth half of what is paid for it. That's what I see coming out of China. I'd much rather support nations that respect human rights and welfare if I must buy imported merchandise,; nations that support democratic ideals and principles. I buy American made whenever I can but if I pick it up and it says Made in China on it, it usually goes right back on the shelf it came off of and I look around for an alternative. I can't ALWAYS find one but generally, I can and do.

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Good morn from here, oh my i didn't know china still had child labour, well i do know that there are other countries who have that too and that's sad.
i don't like communism either though the inequalities of capitalism are also not to my taste since they maintain the status quo with hidden tactics.
What's wrong with sweat shops btw? Is talcum powder cancerous? We have used that made in UK though.
Yeah im sure all countries make poison, we need rat poison, but its sad if they make dog poison.
Im highly surprised if you are poor yet able to afford all things 'made in America' . Here where i live and everywhere else i have been most of the stuff in shops and supermarkets is made in china and the rare stuff made in America is unaffordable for the poor or even middle class families. My relative in the U.S also rarely finds things made in America on the shelf ad she too can't afford those..
Im glad you stand for human rights, i hope you are against all the bombings in the world.
Thanks soo much for fine comment!!

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I am against war, period. There are no good wars, only necessary ones and the last one of those was WWII in my opinion. Nobody in Vietnam ever threatened our freedom at home. The war in Afghanistan and the 911 attacks were both avoidable if the CIA had not armed the mujahedeen to fight Russia during the Carter administration in Operation Cyclone. Iraq had no weapons of "mass destruction" like we were told, it was all fabricated for political reasons. Haliburton made billions from the destruction we left behind, a company that just so happened to be run by our ex- vice-president. Things like that really bother me. Other things too like much of the current global situation. But if you follow the money you can generally find the bad guys.

[Soren]

An interesting take on the state of things in the world economy. Well stated.

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Thanks soo much for the great comment!

[JayG]

Prosody, prosody, prosody. You're ignoring it, but prosody is what makes poetry what it is. It's the reason for the lilt—places it, in fact.

Poetry is a song, and prosody, the melody. Without it, it's just an essay with rhymes.

So dig in. You'll be glad you did. Start by taking a look at the excerpt, on Amazon, to Stephen Fry's, The Ode Less Traveled. He will amaze you by pointing out things you already use without knowing you're doing it.

Then, download Mary Oliver's, A Poetry Handbook. The lady is brilliant.

Sorry my news isn't better, but since we'll not address the problem we don't see as being one, I thought you'd want to know.

Hang in there, and keep on writing.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Thanks so much for your constructive review, um but i thought this had more prosody than my other poems until you told me it didn't have .
Thing is im not here to impress with professional conventional poetry as i can't do it, im more on many such poetry sites to present my points, thoughts, culture and literary entertainment with a very natural eastern flavour that i cant shed off. I didn't even learn how to write professional poetry in school so i don't even know what's syllable count and syllable stresses which i hear of by other poets chatting on forums but if you were meaning that trust me i would never learn how to get that right. I feel perfect poetry is easier for you to do since you are a westerner and its your language, mineis mother tongue urdu. Cheers,

[JayG]

• with a very natural eastern flavour that i cant shed off.

To an extent, you're right, of course. But have you studied the tricks of poetry? language, of course matters. English, with its parade of stressed and unstressed syllables, has conventions that work, developed over the centuries. And they're very different from languages that have other rhythms. But you can learn them easily enough. It's one of the reasons I recommended that Stephen Fry book excerpt. And Mary Oliver is a brilliant lady, worth reading. From her I learned that why I would say "skip a stone," but "throw a rock," is because of the "K" in rock." (and now you'll HAVE to read the book to find out why 🤣) You can download A Poetry Handbook free, here: https://yes-pdf.com/book/1596 (sorry, I forgot to include the address when I suggested downloading it)

As for prosody...

• i thought this had more prosody than my other poems until you told me it didn't have.

My thinking on prosody, looking at the first three stanzas:

S1:
EVeryTHING I BUY to TOUCH and TASTE • Trochaic, 4 feet, masculine ending
is MADE in CHIna, MADE in CHIna • Iambic 4 feet, feminine ending
leave aLONE my CHIna SET, EVen my TOOTHpaste • Iambic 4 feet, feminine ending
is MADE in CHIna, MADE in CHIna. • Iambic 4 feet, feminine ending

Yes, they’re all 4 feet per line. But you have no punctuation ending L2, and it seems necessary, because you aren’t using end-stop reading style for lines. An implied comma on the line would be a comma-splice, which you want to avoid. And, you do have a comma splice on L3 that should be a period. But having the sentence end mid-line that way seems to almost trip the tongue.

S2:
From my PENcils to my STENcils • Iambic, 2 feet, feminine ending.
to the GOLDen LOCKS on my STYish LOCKers • Iambic, 4 feet, feminine ending
ALL bear LABels of 'MADE in CHIna' in BLOCK CAPitals • Trochiac, 6 feet, feminine ending
and THAT exPLAINS the THRIVing of DOORbell HAWKers. Imabic, 5 feet, feminine ending.

You may argue that L1 should be Trochiac, with a stress on “to” to make 4 feet. But spoken that way it seems to have a “rocking horse” feel. In any case, L3 and L4 are not 4 footed, as Stanza 1 set up.

S3:
And for 'ECoNOMical' ME, STUFF made in CHIna • Iamabic, 5 feet feminine ending
DOES hold a LOT of FRUGal CHARMS • Trochaic, 4 feet, masculine ending.
Comes ALL the WAY from CHIna, my GRANNy's PARKa • Iambic, 5 feet, feminine ending
ABout 'MADE in CHIna' I've NEVer HAD any QUALms. • Iambic, 6 feet, feminine ending.

Again, the number of beats per line wanders, and that continues

Next: the number of lines per stanza is inconsistent: 4445454424 Is this a known format that I’ve not seen? Or…

But overall:

L2 seems to want to end strongly, almost as an exclamation. But as presented, it seems to dribble on to L3. And I’m not sure of the point of L3, especially as my china is made in England and the US, so…

• “leave alone my China set?” Did you mean “Let alone?” Either way, it doesn’t seem to track with the thought.

In general, though, I like the spirit of your poems.

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Um good morn, believe me most of what you said about masculine, feminine is spanish and greek to me, I've heard about trochaic but don't know what it actually means.
As for the china that i have seen in every household it is always made in china literally.
And i have seen english people saying leave alone in place of let alone so i got it from them, didn't know if it was wrong. Ok thanks,

[JayG]

• believe me most of what you said about masculine, feminine is spanish and greek to me,
read more• believe me most of what you said about masculine, feminine is spanish and greek to me,

Masculine is when the line ends on a stressed syllable, feminine if unstressed.

There's a LOT to poetry that's not obvious, but is necessary. It's not all that hard to learn, and makes all the difference in the world. A great deal of it is obvious once pointed out. The problem is, we'll not address the problem that we don't see as being one—which is why I mentioned it in the first place.

Read the excerpt to Fry's, The Ode Less Traveled. It's filled with "Aha!" moments.