The better gems

Edited some lines as suggested by fine poets in comments section

What's better than gold?
A heart of gold and any golden rule
Thus do not over the mined thing drool.

What's better than pearls?
Any shining pearls of wisdom
grant the oyster respite's freedom!

What's better than diamonds
Heavenly supernovas
and stars that dazzle like them
So don't you fret if you can't afford
the earthly underground gem.

What's better than rubies?
Crimson roses and rosy lips
I do and maybe you too already have them!

What's better than emeralds?
Feline eyes glowing in the dark.
Ah Lord! That fluorescent emerald spark!

What's better than silver?
The hope that every cloud has a silver lining
Even miners they don't enjoy the mining.

What's better than amber?
Amber eyes shining like embers.
In God's fine variety of iris shades
Ah, and the licorice eyed maidens and maids!

And whether it be zircon or amethyst
Sapphire or lapis lazuli
Agate, opal or tanzanite
what tis far better
than all these gems put together
is anyone known as 'a gem of a person'.
For instance it's up to you to transcend flesh and blood
and be a guiding star
for the transient travellers that we are.
Let the dust that man is famously created from
be upgraded to stardust
by becoming a shining star in God's eyes.
And If you are kind you are a gem of a person
in the view of the Creator 

Author's Note

Click on top side pic to zoom in pic for close up

Reviews

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

“and be a guiding star
for the transient travellers that we are.
Let the dust that man is famously created from
be upgraded to stardust
by becoming a shining star in God's eyes. “
My friend, Your words in this beautiful, lyrical poem are themselves like stardust to the readers eyes. Yes this is a wonderful parable with lovely language, spirituality, message, flow, rhyme, imagery, simile, metaphor. A pleasure to read and I hope we can all see ourselves as being so much better than earthly treasure in God’s eyes.

[John the Baptist]

This is a spiritual offering, a comparison of the world's most glittering jewels with with the Spirit. Needless to say, the former comes out second every time. The ongoing theme is that the transient things of this world will turn to dust, while the Highest Being will always endure. A good lesson here, something we all should keep in mind during these turbulent times.

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Good morn great poet, thanks soo much fir that wise eloquent comment, im so impressed of what you wrote! So true!!

[William Michael Reeves]

Wow S.!!!! An amazing poem! Excellent theme with an interesting unique structure. Well placed rhyme. The line that caught my attention was 'amber eyes shining like embers'. But then it was followed by a line I really disliked. Not the whole line but I feel strongly that the word 'eyeball' almost ruins this amazing poem. At the risk of offending you I might suggest replacing it with 'vision' or maybe 'flaming'. Fossilized comes to mind as well. This really is a beautiful unique poem. Thanks for pulling me here

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Hi, good morn, thanks soo much for that fine comment. First time i really concur with and understand the constructive criticism, eyeballs does sound odd . What about irises, plz tell me as i want to change that.
Im glad you are of those poets who find it unique, and appreciate the difference as that must be due to culture difference too perhaps. Thanks again ,

[William Michael Reeves]

That would be the perfect word! Do it! Excellent image that still encompasses your thought. Perfect!

[William Michael Reeves]

While you are editing could you fix the two typos. Put a space between do and not in the first stanza and a space between up and to in the last stanza. Distracting little things but helps.

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Going to do just that, thanks for your fine suggestions, it's your language so i need you guys corrections. Cheers,

[William Michael Reeves]

You bring up a subject I have been interested in. I recently translated one of my haiku into 4 different languages to see how they sounded and looked. May I ask what language you speak. I would be interested in doing a collaboration where I write a short poem and you translate it. Then rewrite it as it is word for word or line by line which I found out is very different. Then I could rewrite that translation. Could be fun and interesting.

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Sounds fun but challenging, Urdu is my language and mother tongue.
You can write a haiku in other languages, wow!

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Very well penned! We should all strive every day to live for God and be the person he wants us to be!

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Wow yes that's another great lovely conclusion you can get from my poem yeahh. Warmest thanks for that comment,🌷

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

My pleasure!

[Mark]

I like how you present the allegory of tangible riches to those that a daily occurrence in our lives. How easy it is to forget that what is mundane was once something magical and awe-inspiring. A thought provoking work.

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Yayy thanks soo much for adding to it with your fine eloquent thoughts.!

[R.J Calzonetti (Siniste..]

Definitely feel like we lack appreciation for the world around us that we view as if in the palm of our hand. Instead it's always about wealth. But nature and the world we live in, the sights we see, are so much more grand than anything wealth could buy. Why not appreciate something that everyone can? Thank you for sharing.

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Good Morn, yay Well said, you got the gist and added to it superly. Thanks so much for the comment,

[JE Falcon]

Well said and so true. If it were only possible with all.

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Yeahh man if only everyone tried their best to be kind and also appreciated nature more than fighting for gold reserves. Thanks for that spot on comment.

[Dave]

What beauty you present here. I love and appreciate that you see the true worth of life's treasures is not in the gold, silver, the collected gems of the earth. The true worth of a person can only and truly be measured by the goodness they manifest. I really like this.
Take care - Dave

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Yayy you got it so well, thanks soo much for summing it up so perfectly, for that great comment!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

a shining star, the real gem isn't in the stone, it is in the heart when there is love. I tripped a bit over the third line as well, but otherwise, pretty smooth sailing...a really clever metaphor.
j.

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Yeah i dint actually get whats wrong with line 3, maybe the rhythm wasn't good enough there?, i had to say it like that for rhyme sake, i meant, 'Let's not drool over mined gems'.
Thanks so much for your very agreeable thoughts on love and kindness. Cheers ,

[Sami Khalil]

I love it. This was epic. We are indeed God's gems, apple of His eye. I love your wisdom here.
You are getting a star.

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Yayy its always fun and nice to get a star from a fellow poet, you have a golden heart Im sure. Thanks so much!

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome. It is indeed.

[Coyote Poetry]

This is what poetry should be my friend. I agree with your thoughts and your logic. The most precious items are easily given. Concern, kindness and love. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Aw thanks soo much for thinking it so worthwhile, i feel yours is better though. Cheers!

[Coyote Poetry]

There is no better or worst my friend. Once someone asked me. Who is the greatest poet or writer? I told them. I have a hundred favorite writers and poets. Each of us had lived a different life and we see life with different eyes. One of my favorite poets is a Vietnam lady. She translate the war poets of Vietnam. The poetry is so damn powerful. Real life bleeds poetry and story my friend. You are welcome.