Celebrating Muslim architecture in my motherland India
Click on top side pic to zoom the picture of the Taj
Sing a song of Tajmahal
a fine nazm or a ghazal
Of this landmark for lovers
Ah, a lover's edifice
Complete with medieval bowers
It's a Mecca for tourists!
Tis sensational, tis exceptional
tis truly a touristy place.
Watch the shimmer of its magnificent marbled dome
Moonlight or sunlight, it glimmers of imperial chrome
It's ironical then
that though Indian-Arabian I am
I haven't yet been to this touristy place
It is truly as they must say, a lover's shrine
a place where hearts duly incline
They find it steamy
I find it dreamy
Oh, I've got to see for myself this touristy place.
Each of the marbled minarets
conceal such romantic secrets
for lovers to silently explore
to admire and to adore
A place human lovebirds couldn't ignore.
Ah you've got to visit this touristy place!
Two famed lovers lie in the legendary vault below
and the stream too it has a romantic flow
It's a lovers haven and paradise on earth
Even dead passions there undergo a rebirth
Ah, rekindle my love for you in this touristy place!
Extol I may this awesome imposing edifice
A greed for pure love is perhaps better than avarice
Löng live the legend of Shah jahan and Mumtaz mahal
Long live love and love like a Moghul
so forever we have this monumental grace!
Yeah take me my luv to this touristy place!
Gosh, Zaynab!
How wonderfully your words touch my heart, on into my very core, from your poem of this wondrous, other-worldly edifice.
The earth over, the Taj Mahal is know as the crown palace of lovers, and one has to but lay eyes on its incomparable beauty to know the reason why.
Zaynab,
My respect and fondness for your poem is without question. I love Free Verse and Free Style poetry, and Rhyming Couplets … all of which you've so very deftly included in your wonderfully composed and presented poem. My hat's off to you, my fine poet friend. The only issue I have is your use of the repeated word "touristy" in describing the Taj Mahal, because it lends a kind of advertisement/material ambiance to the mood, rather than the spiritually enthralling/romantically embracing wonder that it should portray.
A far better and more appropriate word would be heavenly, glorious. enthralling, etc; to touch the places within our imaginations that will take us heart and soul to this wondrously beguiling place.
Please, replace the word "touristy" with something more appropriately deserving, complimenting, and poetic.
Other than that, I think your poem is a virtual masterpiece, and I thank you ever-so gratefully for your invitation to enjoy it with you, My Friend! ⁓ Richard 🍃
Posted 5 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
5 Years Ago
Thanks soo much for your delightful review and constructive criticism. Your views on the Taj are ric.. read moreThanks soo much for your delightful review and constructive criticism. Your views on the Taj are richly poetic wow.
And yes as soon as i get the chance i will try to replace the eird touristy but i will use it at least once coz its a rare unused word.
Ok best wishes,
Though I have never been to the Taj Mahal or India a that, I have always held an affinity to the landmark and wish to go. Your poem is really beautiful and paints such an amazing picture. I do agree with other commenters though, the word "touristy" pulls away from the lovers story and the romanticism of the poem. I think that speaking of tourism and materialism in contrast to a place of such beauty is an interesting idea and definitely realistic nowadays, but it's two very contrasting ideas in this poem itself.
Either way, fantastic work. I really enjoyed reading this piece and found myself connecting to it :)
More venerated and heavenly than touristy, if you ask me.
Constructed in 1632 by a Muslim Emperor and now the pride and joy of Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Sikh, Jain, Buddhist & Atheist INDIANS alike.
Famed Indian poet, Tagore relates the image of the Taj Mahal to a tear drop on the cheek of eternity. The Taj is to be revered as it testifies to the indestructibility of love in the face of ephemeral time.
In this case, the divine marble monument, by its very universal message and its magnificence has long surpassed and over-shone its builder, Shah Jahan, to assume a much greater identity, as an enduring symbol of the rich cultural heritage of the great nation, INDIA.
Posted 5 Years Ago
5 Years Ago
I admire how Tagore described it so poetically. I love your comment too Divya. Take care.
A very vivid description contained in this poem, which has a musical feel to it. The poem is somewhat free verse, but nevertheless it has a smooth flow and is easy to read and it rhymes in some places. I agree with the sentiment expressed, and you have rightly described The Taj Mahal as a monument to undying love.
Of course it is a place that lovers should grace. It was built, was it not, because of the undying love the builder had for his wife. The fact that it has become "touristy' owes to its' magnificent beauty. I must admit that it is on my own "bucket list" of places I'd like to see before I die.
Take care - Dave
dear Zaynab.. I agree with Richard... the word “touristy” should not be used not even once in your poem. It does not do justice to the lovely Taj Mahal... as touristy is much too common a term to be associated with your style of poetry.
We need to take heed of advice when given with respect and admiration. truly, Pat
dear Zaynab... the Taj Mahal with Medieval bowers so romantic... a feeling of peace and love entwined. Your poetry has me in a dance 💃 so divine. truly, Pat
Gosh, Zaynab!
How wonderfully your words touch my heart, on into my very core, from your poem of this wondrous, other-worldly edifice.
The earth over, the Taj Mahal is know as the crown palace of lovers, and one has to but lay eyes on its incomparable beauty to know the reason why.
Zaynab,
My respect and fondness for your poem is without question. I love Free Verse and Free Style poetry, and Rhyming Couplets … all of which you've so very deftly included in your wonderfully composed and presented poem. My hat's off to you, my fine poet friend. The only issue I have is your use of the repeated word "touristy" in describing the Taj Mahal, because it lends a kind of advertisement/material ambiance to the mood, rather than the spiritually enthralling/romantically embracing wonder that it should portray.
A far better and more appropriate word would be heavenly, glorious. enthralling, etc; to touch the places within our imaginations that will take us heart and soul to this wondrously beguiling place.
Please, replace the word "touristy" with something more appropriately deserving, complimenting, and poetic.
Other than that, I think your poem is a virtual masterpiece, and I thank you ever-so gratefully for your invitation to enjoy it with you, My Friend! ⁓ Richard 🍃
Posted 5 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
5 Years Ago
Thanks soo much for your delightful review and constructive criticism. Your views on the Taj are ric.. read moreThanks soo much for your delightful review and constructive criticism. Your views on the Taj are richly poetic wow.
And yes as soon as i get the chance i will try to replace the eird touristy but i will use it at least once coz its a rare unused word.
Ok best wishes,
I like to call myself a poetess even though I'm no professional or conventional at writing poetry.
Have been writing poems for some time and readers say they get message and/or entertainment from the.. more..