The Royals vs the poet's realms

Appreciating the kingdom of poets

Of splendid thrones of gold
or treasures manifold

Of jewelled caskets
or lavish banquets

Of Emirs and rajahs
Of Sultan and Shahs

Of kings and queens
Of rulers and emperors

Of sparkling crowns
or flowing gowns

Of their subservient stewards and obedient pages
Of their stalwart squires and servile knaves

Of poor humble, docile minions
who tended to regal pavilions
And obeisantly carried royal palanquins
Oh and some were real life harlequins

Of castles and palaces
of abounding gold and silver
in ostentatious regal splendour

The sidelined fanning maids in waiting
Yet to me only one thing worth noticing
The minstrels who came to sing
from afar for the queen and king

For I'd rather be a poetess for kings
so to my tunes swayed a kingdom
than I be the king of mere subjects
and be filled with regal boredom!

So I could join ranks of
troubadours
and sing for the king
some folklores.

Reviews

[.]

An interesting first poem for writerscafe.

I enjoyed the theme; rather to reign in the realm of poets than to reign as a King.

I agree with the review of girlandpen below. Poetry either follows structure, in both rhyme and verse or is written freely. To mix the two makes for a disjointed write to the reader. So while your idea is very well thought out, and the description and imagery is sound, the disjointed structure and rhyme scheme tends to confuse this reader and restricts the flow of the piece.
Perhaps next time choose your style and stick with it all the way through. Your write will be all the better for it.

So, well done on the theme and imagery, but take the time to edit and choose your style for your next write. I look forward to reading it soon.

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Thanx for your review but like I told Rachel , many readers in past online sites and contests tell me they enjoy the message of my poem more and like my uniquely unconventional form since my intent is more on my message than rhyming n syllable synchronising perfection ,besides English being only my second language, so I hope readers here too can bear with me and enjoy mine nevertheless. Many readers say they actually like how mine is an extraordinary blend of forms and structure, and I mean even western poets so though I try to edit but I don't tink I would know well how to. Cheers.

[.]

Fair enough. I will not tell you how to write or what style you choose. And as for those on other sites? Well, I can't judge their level of poetic talent and publication. But i stick to my thoughts. Perhaps read more widely. Watch how poets stick to form, stucture, rhyme scheme, flow, verse, lines in verses etc. It is the way poetry is mean't to be written. Either that way or written in free verse. And writing poetry has nothing really to do with your level of English. Use of words and grammar, perhaps. Yours are fine in that regard. The issue is with poetic techniques. Only by continual practice and learning can one expect to become a better, more rounded poet. But these are just my thoughts, not a personal attack. As i have said on this site many times before.....to each their own. Good luck with your poetry.

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Oh noh don't misunderstand me, u are always welcome to give me constructive criticism, all i meant is that i won't always know what and how to edit and also keep my message intact.
As for the poetic talent and aptitude of those who complimented my work, i assure u they were some of the genius english poets too. I know u r one great expert poet here so i will always accept your literary judgements of my poems.
As for other poets i have read even on other sites they are not all perfect in language so im certainly not the odd one out. So cheers.

[girlandpen]

good job with the rhyming and fitting all that detail/imagery into a poem! just a suggestion... I noticed some of your couplets fit the same syllabic pattern whereas some of them didn't. I personally think this might flow a little better if you evened out the syllables in the lines that go together. the first two lines in the poem both have 6 syllables and they flow very nicely when read :)

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Warm thanx for your constructive criticism. Many readers tell me they understand and enjoy my poetry even when it may not sound and read like conventional poems. Because my rhyming follows and obeys my content and not vice versa and also because English is not my mother tongue so I can't know much about perfect syllable synchronising.
So thanx again. Take care.

[mattavelli]

Hello, S! :)
I enjoyed the poem and the point of view. Today, our entertainers can earn the wealth of kings.

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Aha I see. The entertainment industry u must mean yeah. But poets ? Can they earn much? Hopefully yes.. Thanx so much for your comment. Cheers.

[Glennise Ayuk]

Amazing! Language is smooth and so...poetic. You made a brilliant case for us the poets. You write great. Please keep at it!

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Wow warmest thanx for a comment that shows how well u grasped my intent. Yes for us the poets. Yay yay. Merry Xmas. Take care.

[Suhd]

I find this utterly amazing, the music the literary devices all in perfection here. Brilliant piece, I must say.

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Aww thanx soo much for such a nice comment. Best wishes.

[Sami Khalil]

A very lofty endevor and one that could be in waiting for you. Even kings or whatever title they held in the ancient world, were bored and needed entertainment of singers and poets and they paid handsomely for that. Nowadays singers make big money and poets struggle but it is not all about money and such.
An excellent write.

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Thanx for a great paraphrasing comment. U summed it up so well. God bless

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome.

[TerryDarcy-Ryan akaSh..]

There is a rhythm here that flows perfectly with your well chosen words. It keeps a pace for the reader as well as the timing of visuals. Over all a well executed Poem light and entertaining. Thank you for sharing

Sheer Terror

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Warm thanx for your great review. Much obliged. Best best wishes.

[N]

I liked your habit of putting in so much detail. Keep writing.

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Warm thanx for the comment. Best wishes.

[Coyote Poetry]

I don't know. Kings and ruler rarely paid attention to no-one. I did like the flow of thoughts and the hope in the words. John Dryden wrote. Writers and Poets who want to change the world. Will become martyr. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Warm thanxx for your fine thoughts on this. Cheers.

[Coyote Poetry]

Was my pleasure and you are welcome.

[Farhan Shaikh]

This is really well written.. your start is really good... keep going and sharing

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Well thanx a bunch brother, this is not my first poem, I have written many for online contests and won. God bless.