Day-mares and night dreams

I explain as vividly as possible an interesting experience undergoing depression during day and night; a short story to start things off.

Daybreak; a new battle beginning, an old one forgotten. I sat and gazed from the edge of my bed into the dark room I was living in, with no window to brighten the area; just a small lamp to keep it visible. I looked upon my wooden desk, realizing I had unfinished chicken on a ceramic plate, but I didn't care; I had been starving myself for days. I got up to the voice of my grandmother as she knocks on the door to my left and says, "Mijo, get up! it's time for breakfast." I thought to myself how I would hide my unfinished chicken from her, as she would get very upset if she found out. I paid no mind to it and replied, "Alright, grandma, I'll be out in a bit!" I then got up, almost fainting as my blood sugar had been extremely low, and thrown the food away. I acknowledged what a great parent my grandmother was, she had always been there.

After finally finishing my first meal in two days, I went back into my room and locked my door shut. I had a very common disorder, preventing myself from gaining pleasure over normally pleasure-inducing activities. Major Depressive Disorder, clinically diagnosed by my therapist, had been a factor to my everyday life for the past 4 years. It was not until a year ago when I started to get help, but ever since then, nothing has changed.

I continued on with this journey, with the burdens of suicidal thoughts and painful memories lingering in my imagination. Overthinking drove me into agony and made me miserable; giving off a wicked vibe to the dark room I was in. I felt like I was living in a nightmare, as I could hear the terrifying sounds of a noose stretching, as if someone had been hanging there. I looked up from my rocking chair and imagined myself hung, with the sounds of stretching rope still echoing in my thoughts. I was living in a nightmare, but during the day. I could no longer stomach this feeling, leaving me on the edge of going completely insane. I decided to fall asleep, right on my chair to leave my worries behind for at least a moment.

I woke up, but for some odd reason, I could hear a song. The sensation of instrumentals flooded my ears with beauty; it sounded like Coldplay, The Escapist to be precise. I walked out of my room and right into my grandparent's. After opening the door, I seen my grandparents, both calmly deceased, holding hands as if they had committed suicide together. Shocked and terrified, I had no choice but to drop to my knees and grieve. Soon after the tears dropped a little slower I had gotten up and examined their bodies. Upon their bodies was a note that said, "We're sorry mijo, deeply." I looked up and seen my own life flashing before my eyes, contemplating why they did it and how. I questioned my own life at that moment while thinking of all the precious memories we had all shared together. Grabbing my grandmother's left hand from the edge of the bed, I held it up to my forehead and gave myself the last feeling of warmth from her body. I would do the same to my grandfather, who had not been as close to me as my grandma, but still had the unbreakable bond of a true father. After I said my goodbyes, I walked out of the room and called 911. What felt like a blur moments after I called, I somehow found myself in front of a noose. Struggling to decide whether I should, I got onto the chair, and put the noose around my neck, readying my demise. What felt like hours passing by had only been a few seconds as tears rolled down my face and I finally decided to go through with this. Kicking the chair keeping me alive with my right foot, I realized I was finally going to be free. I closed my eyes. The music stopped.

Opening them once more, I found myself on my rocking chair, crying as the sound of my grandma's voice coming from her bedroom gave me hope. It was just a dream. I looked at the time, it had been 8 past noon; it was night. Wiping my tears off, I had gotten out of my room and into my grandparent's. Opening the door, I seen them both dancing. With joy in my soul once again, I went up to them and interrupted their dance, hugging them tightly with a smile on my face. It was not until then I realized that I was living in my own dream. Nothing could break the joyful feeling I had while I was hugging them, a sigh of relief would be the factor to my happiness. After that traumatic dream, I recognized that my destiny was to live not only for myself but for my grandparents as well. The night had taken over this day, and the battle of the day had been won. After all, when night came, everything seemed to be better.

Author's Note

Please give me feedback. I am a young, inexperienced writer, tell me what I did wrong and right. Thank you for taking your time to read this.