I don't want to inhabit any world which is not mine

A Poem by Zany

Some musings

I don't want to live in the world of science with eerie smiles and fervor, passion and formal systems, my world my childhood of winter sun beams captured in airborne dustmites weeping from joy and telling my mother is what I want.

Bike clubs childhood dares and early trouble, yes I want it over peer review rules and unspoken pressures and expectations. Of

Rings and atoms and intense experimentation, mostly simply because that is not my world. I want my works of chocolate milk bubbles and cassettes about when dinosaurs roamed the earth which we picked by choosing seven in the raffles my parents used to make decisions between me and my brother's choice for what to listen to ( the story about the donkey was another favorite.)

I don't want to live in a world other than my own of comics strewn about the floor ready for categorization memorizing the names of the characters. Of reading novels about Young geniuses where their bodyguards beat up imaginary creatures ( this as an adult.)

Of golden Friday nights beside my mother reading and eating green apples and the occasional quince. Golden moments reading my first novel with footnotes then also David Foster Wallace with his: magical and miraculous rest his soul /he's kicking a*s in heaven so it goes (as when I heard the brother of a suicide teen screaming in the white shul years ago. Yes you give em hell up there you give em hell!)

I want no world that is not my own where I'm a character where I'm making others smile and laugh. Where I curse and express my thoughts and feelings honestly without fear of outcome in public and during speeches and landmark experiences ( my brother's wedding for example.) Where I'm a funny dude where my parents support and are happy for me where my girlfriend is happy with me where I'm kicking a*s. That world thankfully is mine today I am grateful my precious