High School Homicide

High School Homicide

A Poem by Zane

I'm tired of being misunderstood

Judged, pressured, and misguided,

Sick of all the sad new teens

Long hair and thin pretty waists.

 

Can't you see

You make me vomit.

Can't you see

You're too obscene.

 

Brains and personality

They don't mean a thing.

Neither pure heart nor soul.

Sports or art are too tiring.

 

So can't you see

It's definately you, and not me

Who will never succeed.

Can't you see

I'm building my own monopoly

 

I'll smile

As  the last punch lands,

As i hear my feeble pleas.

I know you'll never see

How you're slowly killing me.

 

 

© 2010 Zane


Author's Note

Zane
I wrote this in my AP European History class today. It's poorly written, and the thoughts don't flow. Any suggestions, or corrections are appreciated. :D

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

I honestly believe this was not poorly written ... this not only spoke to me in ways of re assurance but in ways of relations to my prior uncertainty of being out casted ... i actually have to stop and realize that i am not one of a kind per say but part of a kind that must overcome what we hate ...

Posted 13 Years Ago


this is profound...great write

Posted 14 Years Ago


Thank you so much for your advice and opinion :)
It shall help me better this writing :)

Posted 14 Years Ago


Im tired - I'm

deffinately - definitely

And i'll - I'll

As i - I

Because i - I

I like how this a poem a lot of people can relate to. And I like how true it is, especially with teenagers these days. If you've got the generic long hair and a pretty thin waist - you're sorted. If you've got the brains and lack the above, then you've got nothing.

The only line I'm not too sure about is the "Sports and art are too tiring." I'm not sure if it fits in well with the poem, or maybe it does. I don't know.

Other than that, it's a nice poem, and it definitely does portray the feelings quite well. :]

Posted 14 Years Ago



Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

324 Views
5 Reviews
Added on October 27, 2010
Last Updated on October 27, 2010

Author

Zane
Zane

About
Changed the name from "Snuffle" to "Zane" :D SO, I guess I go by Zane. I'm a boy who's been through some pretty...interesting things. I love writing. I love knowing I can make myself anything I w.. more..

Writing
Dear Father Dear Father

A Story by Zane