Cell of Sanity

Cell of Sanity

A Poem by Zan
"

this one's kind of dark... :)

"
Bent o'er an altar
of ice cold slate
sharp-tipped pen spills my blood
carving my heart into papery thin slices

they scatter them like flowers
down an aisle of white
married to madness
a demon wrapped in butterfly wings

i live and breathe in chains, shackles
hard black words caging me 
to my cell of sanity 

© 2013 Zan


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I really enjoyed the imagery in that first stanza. Such a powerful relationship between the body and pen...

In stanza 2, I think you mean aisle. "Isle" as you've spelled it is short for island. Aisle, as in the aisle in church that people walk down, is spelled with an a in front.

Also, my eyes automatically want to jump from line 2 in your last stanza to line 4. The black words are caging you to your cell of sanity, correct? If so, I think leaving out line 3 would make that connection stronger.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This comment has been deleted by the poster.
Zan

11 Years Ago

Thanks for your comments! Theyre really helpful. I dont notice this stuff myself so its great to hav.. read more
Zan

11 Years Ago

And thanks for pointing out the spelling :) its kindof embarassing so id rather have it fixed than l.. read more



Reviews

I really enjoyed the imagery in that first stanza. Such a powerful relationship between the body and pen...

In stanza 2, I think you mean aisle. "Isle" as you've spelled it is short for island. Aisle, as in the aisle in church that people walk down, is spelled with an a in front.

Also, my eyes automatically want to jump from line 2 in your last stanza to line 4. The black words are caging you to your cell of sanity, correct? If so, I think leaving out line 3 would make that connection stronger.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This comment has been deleted by the poster.
Zan

11 Years Ago

Thanks for your comments! Theyre really helpful. I dont notice this stuff myself so its great to hav.. read more
Zan

11 Years Ago

And thanks for pointing out the spelling :) its kindof embarassing so id rather have it fixed than l.. read more

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Added on September 15, 2013
Last Updated on September 25, 2013

Author

Zan
Zan

London, Ontario, Canada



About
*** first - business: i'm currently looking for a critique partner for two novels - if anyone has any work to exchange that would be greatly appreciated **** What can I say that's any different tha.. more..

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