Youthful Exuberance

I wrote this for a class project and it had to be a certain length. I think it loses something after the first 12 lines - should I stop it there?

Tumultuous wheat's influxes rapid

yet so harmonious

beautiful chaotic dance.

The heavens: azure, benign, pervading

cotton clouds encompass Earth

smokey gateways

Infinite potential smiles down; sun rays

caressing wind kisses skin

stirs flighty thoughts

Velvet soft stallion; muscles rippling flex

his thundering hooves beat springy loam

youth's jubilation

Complete euphoria in gate like flight

sloping curve - Earth's breast beneath feet

electric day

Nothing but chance, veins thrilling, excited

sanctity of peace in movement

beyond compare

Youthful exuberance, innocent fog

pain the world in one's own colours

captivating

Power the world with energy, prowess

of children's radiant brilliance

grounded flight.

Reviews

[Diana]

There is a certain otherworldliness to it. The second to last stanzas was one of my favorites, so while you're the author, as a reader, I didn't feel any distinct loss after the first 12 lines ended.

[Zan]

Thanks :) my family hated it... so its good to know that others think its alright