TO DAD

R.I.P. Mthuthuzeli Alfred "Mthuthu" "Miya" Jange

You are gone,
Forever they say
Yet in my heart I can feel you
I can recall that very one hug I ever shared with you
As if it was yesterday.

Its been 4 years of not seeing your smile
Its been 48 months of not hearing your voice
1 460 days of missing you
35 063 hours of crying because you are not there
2 103 795 minutes of loneliness in your absence
126 227 704 seconds of missing you

I wish there was a way to bring you back
A way to let you know how I love you
A connection to assure you that I still think of you
A word so you know that although most of our relationship wasn't that good
The memories of you that fill my head are the few happy ones we had.

I remember the day we laid you to rest
You looked so peaceful in your casket
I swear I saw you smile
A smile of accomplishment
You had proven your point
That when you are gone I'd be the first to cry endlessly
You were beautiful
My mother's husband
My forever father
My papa
After all your struggles and pains as a man
You had conquered the last battle
You had defeated death
I was happy of your eternal victory
Yet was torn as it meant eternal departure from me
The words I write here are merely a preview of the whole story in my heart
A story of how much I miss you.
Since you been gone..