Two Halves: chapter 20

woot, chapter 20

 

The party went on for several hours. They went through vats of the quick brew during the festivities. Outside people were hard at work emptying the remaining barrels of liquid nitrogen over the lake. A system of pipes had been adhered to the cavern, and these were being used to distribute the freezing slush. The black lake had frozen over from the raining cold. Technicians were walking on the black ice to get to the outlying pillars that the scrolls were attached to. New scrolls were being brought out of storage to be used at a moment notice, and the old were being brought into warehouses for repair. Darris explained the bases defenses to Nicolas over a quick brew.

 

“We hardly ever use that tactic. Every time we do it’s a pain to put out the lake. “ he was explaining. The effectiveness of the battle strategy could not be denied though. The sudden temperature change had made the armor vulnerable. Other wise the storm of bullets would not even dented them, let alone tear them to pieces as they had.

 

“Who was that man that cast the flame wall? He was amazing, I haven’t seen a pyromancer that powerful in a long time,” mused Nicolas. Zeckle was over with several soldiers playing some darts game, and was getting angry because she was dreadful at it. Her horns were slowly lengthening in her anger. Nicolas was staring to worry for Darris’s comrades’ safety, as they were laughing at each failed toss. “Zeckle calm down. It’s just a game, and you're drunk. We both know you won’t be able to hit that target.”

 

“But, Niiiiiick... I really wanna win!” she whined. The people around her laughed harder; she pouted and sat next to Nicolas. Her fowl mood emanated from her in small waves of magic. Suddenly Nicolas got a serious look on his face.

 

“I didn’t want to discuss it with Bestalel around, but he seems to have left to look at the rest of the base. Earlier you said, an old enemy comes to help me. I assume you meant Bestalel as the old enemy. People up in the market seem to be afraid of him, and Ernie said he had spent a lot of time here before. Darris, who is Bestalel?” Nicolas pleaded. Bestalel had been a mystery from the start. He has appeared to be a shop worker, and turned out to be one of Ernie’s best bodyguards. The mystery had only deepened further, the hints, the singe he had received while Bestalel had been praying, the terrified shop owners. Who was he?

 

“Well, to tell you that story I am gonna have to tell you a story about myself. Him and me used to be top paid assassins for Salex. We enforced security around here and carried out the corp’s dirty work. I didn’t care about anything, except money. I killed so many people, and not just fighting men. I killed innocent men, and women, and children! All for those b******s in Salex!” he had raised his voice almost to a shout. People around him had stopped their reveals. There were looking at him and frowning, most without understanding, but a few with sympathy. They seemed to be the older men, the more battle grizzled ones. Darris cupped his face in his hands; then he looked up and spoke cheerfully. “I’m sorry everyone. Get back to you all’s fun, I’m gonna take the guest of honor out for a little while.”

 

“Come with me.” he whispered to Nicolas as he approached the door. Zeckle got up to follow him first, and Nicolas rose slowly and strode after them. They walked outside into the cold cavern. Instead of turning to go back up the stairs Darris turned right to a series of docks. A few boats were anchored, but they weren’t the expensive gun ships of Salex only one of them had a hover array. Darris led them to a small speedboat bobbing in the black water, and lowered himself onto the deck.

 

“We are gonna go to a quite place. I always go there when I need to think.” announced Darris to what seemed like no one in particular. He did not look up from the motor where he was pulling at the starter rope vigorously. Zeckle shrugged and followed him into the boat, and Nicolas followed with a sigh. The motor blazed into life, and Darris untied them from the dock. They slowly sped away from the base along the rivers surface, and went the opposite direction the gunboats had taken. They sped over the black sea in silence. Ice was still lingering on the crust of the oil, and the bow of the ship broke it apart. Black drifts of ice slipped past each other reflecting the ceiling of the cavern. Girder stuck out at odd angles, and huge tension cables hung limply. Every surface was red with the accumulated rust, and long ropes of the substance hung down over the water.

They passed other garbage islands, but none with any structure on it.

 

Finally Darris slowed the boat; in front of them was a small garbage island. A low squat hut sat clinging to its surface, and it was looking out over the edge of the world. It sat less than a hundred feet away from a huge gap in the wall. Nicolas hadn’t realized how far they have traveled up river. The Rust River Raider’s complex had been at least a mile from the edge, but this building was right on top of it. Small waves would crash against the dam that formed the end of the city. Oils cascaded over the short dam and fell over the edge. Most collected in pools along the cliffs on the way down, but a few drops fell even further down into non-space; away from the city.

 

There was a single dock on the small garbage island. Darris pulled up next to it and tethered them to one of the posts. He stepped out confidently and reached down to help Zeckle. She had not been comfortable on the water and rose shakily. Nicolas helped himself from the boat.

 

“Well, this is home sweet home, and probably the best place to tell who exactly who me and Bestalel are.” he walked away towards the cabin, leaving Nicolas and Zeckle standing stunned on the shore.

Author's Note

Editing is going to be a pain once I finish the entire manuscript. Events are taking long time, and the book might fill well over 150k words. I just am going to have to hope for the best and tackle the problem once I reach it.

Reviews

[Domenic Luciani]

probably could better explain what the feeling of a "wave of magic" feels like.
Some of the other magic roles and techniques could use some justification as well.
I agree that the dialogue was a bit stiff.
Overall, the biggest thing would be to make sure the story is progressing. It seems the main character does more hanging out in random places than he does working towards his goal. Never lose track with your reader.

[Daniel Gardner]

Has usually just keep up the good work.

[ClosingAccount]

Nice.

[Aggie Skeleton]

Editing sucks, but your grammer needs it. But the story is still cool.

[Dutch Jr.]

This is an interseting story. Very well-written, vivid, clear and entertaining. Just needs minor tweaking as far as the conventions and grammar is concerned, but other than that the book is great. Keep it up.

[James Watts]

I80 thousand is a respectable number, so you are good. Just keep notes on every chapter. Not bad. The story is progressing. I am not going to point out any errors because from the authors note, I assume you what and where. I do like the story and am interested in learning more.

[Miss Coral]

I think that the dialogue could use a bit of work, but all in all, another great installment in your book. :)

Yeah, editing is always a pain. It's fun at first, but I'm a bit of a perfectionist, and it seems almost never ending for me, haha. Good luck!