Neoteni

Lets just be.

A beautiful flower
It's shimmering under the crystallized sunlight
And somewhere in all of this glittering luster
A voice whispers softly

You and I are here together
It's like a dream, isn't it?
I find myself asking constantly
"What did we do to deserve this Light?"

Everything is just like a dream
All of the colors are so brilliant!
It looks as if Forever was captured in a glass jar
And saved just for us

But I guess I should stop wondering
And just live in this perfect moment
Because I can still hear the voice whispering
"Breath in while the air is pure"

And I think I'm understanding now...

...Neoteni
 

Author's Note

Inspired by the song Neoteny by Nightmare. I haven't done much happy poetry in a while. (Heh heh.)

Reviews

[Apryl Skies]

Much of this is well written, beautiful and exquisite even. Many lines are worthy of note. I will have to read some more of your work. The only criticism here is that I notice a lot of words that are unnecessary ("and" ETC) use all the words sparingly...think of cutting down some of the "Extra" words, as it makes the piece much more "poetic" and helps it read better and more fluidly when read aloud. It might sound strange but it helps to find your voice and the voice of the poem when you read it out loud to your self...trust me.

[Ally Baker]

Great write!

~~Ally Baker
"Don't upset the writer. they might put you in one of their books and kill you."

[Joanna Maharis]

Masterfully written. I love the beautiful imagery throughout. This piece is filled with so much depth, passion, and magic. I was able to connect with the narrator of this piece so beautifully.

[Lady leah]

Very nicely penned, I loved it.