A Dash of Brash?

Boldness mixed with confusion

I swallowed whole,
A thousand year old devotion.
It took away emotion,
And left me in the ocean.

Looking for a way,
To evacuate the airplane,
To prevent this tragedy,
I threw away the key.

I have solid notions.
Plus a little taste for being a loner,
But I put that away when I made the mistake,
Of ever being in this relationship.
So make it complicated,
And smoke me till I'm faded.
I'm a tangerine, I'll make a man of me.

The metaphors mean nothing unless you understand my speak.

So lift open shutters,
And pour out into gutters.
This isn't guaranteed.
I'll make a man of me...

Author's Note

I love feedback and reading my friends poetry. :)

Reviews

[David W Moore III]

Well, you managed to go all over the place with your metaphors (of course you admit that and even embrace it in the midst of your poem) As such, it makes the piece a bit mor enigmatic and wide open for interpretation. Which is not a bad thing. The whole idea is that we as the readers take something away from your work and have to think about it. Win.
Nice job

[Coyote Poetry]

In the good old days. A cigarette and a shot of whiskey was the sign of a man. I drank with my father and grandfather. I took my son out to a good club and bought him a beer for his 21 birthday. Today world is very different. Ain't allow to smoke in public. Taxes the beer and liquor to death. Government health care. Soon men who want to be real men will have to go to Mexico. I like this poem. You made me think.
Coyote

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

I can follow all your metaphors~ unpeel each rich texture and find a unique core each time~ of course it is related on an intimate level that allows reader to interpret as they will~ personalizing through their own experience~ that is the insightful aspect of this poem~ by relaying each stanza in enigmatic metaphors and word twists you are in essence engaging the reader into an almost interactive sequencing between the written meaning you intended and the conclusions drawn through the eyes into the mind of your audience~ being one who absolutely lives metaphors of course I adore your write here and fall into it with thoughtful exploration~

[Jas Alejandrino Ramos]

wow! this poem is fantastic....the way the emotions were describe in simple words but perfect description that makes the readers not only struck by the emotions but also be amaze by the perfect description of the emotion in this poem

[Olivia Ashley]

Love it

[Ruth]

The level of reflection in this is outstanding love!
A great poem!
Really interesting metaphors for the inner self too, wonderful work!
xx