Soliloquy: I Guess I'm Prone to Shake and Sweat

Off the top of my head again...I accidentally exited the tab when it was almost finished. I just said: "F**k my life." And decided to write another, again

It's water instead of blood that is coursing through my veins?  My heart isn't shaped like two loops hooked together, to make that anatomically wronged shape?  Thanks for the update.  Though it's not my functions below the neck that need help, tis my mind, brain, and head (and probably my spirit if it's truly locked within).  I guess I'm prone to shake and sweat, whenever I lay my sights on a girl I deem right.  Though not without practice, I want to take it slow, but they always want to hit fifth gear before ever starting the car.  Subconsciously I'm sure I attribute to these deeds, because why else would they keep happening to me?  It isn't sex, it never get's that far, but when I'm rounding third the umpire calls it because it's raining too bad, or because one of my cleats wasn't strapped.  It's confusing, girls using you, like one of their feminine products, except they throw me away instead of needing a change.  Three days is the longest I have lasted, the past two years blasted.  Full of self-initiated hate that only existed in my world, how pointless it is to feud and twirl your thumbs, thinking of stuff that will never add up.  "It's all up to you now".  I'm so sick of hearing that, too much it has been spat at my face as if I could displace it where it is locked in my brain, just like your beautiful brown eyes, and face.  It's true, the "ones" have added up and you all linger in there.  I wonder if you have your own house where you all just laugh at me, pointing at the other things I think, because they will be gone in a day to three.  I don't expect for you to understand reader, because I don't, but I will say it proudly.  I will fall onto my knees and I will hang my head in shame, because for you I would have them break my back, and I would still carry your weight, and I have yet to discover, even your name.  The cross I bear, has stayed with me and will, until the end of time, because don't you see?  The cross has been my mind.

Author's Note

Off the top of my head. Nothing but love for those who give feedback and expect some yourself from yours truly.

Reviews

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

I've never understood the motivations that propel either gender to dance than break away~ don't get the games~ the plays~ never understood why people can't just say straight up what they mean~ sensual relationships are the most complex little things we'll ever encounter in this life~ but enough of that~

your writing has a rhythm not just with words but feeling~ you are pouring pure ink here onto this page~ honesty~ catharsis~ metaphors in creative array~ in this tale the human mind works its way through the human heart for sense~ truly love this~

[Miss Coral]

Great little rant/expression of opinion here. Love the rhythm in your words and the ease with which you express yourself-- awesome write.

[Zackery Alan Daley]

Es ist Wasser anstelle von Blut, das durch meine Adern Coursing ist? Mein Herz ist nicht wie zwei Schlaufen eingehängt zusammen, geformt, dass anatomisch Unrecht Form machen? Danke für das Update. Obwohl es nicht meine Funktionen unterhalb des Halses, die Hilfe benötigen, tis mein Geist, Gehirn und Kopf (und wahrscheinlich auch mein Geist, wenn es wirklich ist innerhalb gesperrt). Ich glaube, ich bin geneigt zu zittern und schwitzen, wenn ich meinen Blick lag auf einem Mädchen, das ich erachten rechts. Obwohl nicht ohne Praxis, möchte ich es langsam angehen, aber sie wollen immer in den fünften Gang, bevor überhaupt Starten des Auto angefahren. Unterbewusst Ich bin sicher, Attribut, um diese Taten, denn warum sonst würden sie es mir passiert halten?

[Matthews Reggie]

strong work, really strong...

[Coyote Poetry]

Woman will leave us content and confuse till death. I learn from a wise grandfather. Say nothing unless the words are good. A very strong story. Sometime we must make our mind aim in the right direction and do the right things. A very good story.
Coyote

[Ed Hart]

it is good that you are writing about it...not so much that you are putting it out for others to see and have opinions about, but so that you can see it whole, rather than just have fleeting impressions...growing up, in the sense of maturing, so that your mind isn't always a light show and rock band, but that life begins to make sense (slowly)...the problem, of course, is that there are few, if any, 'mature' adults on the horizon to lend a helping hand...it's hard going, especially the sex part...good luck to you