Nothing Cold

Maybe I could someday find
a destination far from sight
Something I could call my own
not broken, tired, flesh or bone
So I don't look for any one of you
I leave myself with nothing much to do

Maybe if I shut my eyes
and felt closer to whats inside
I'd see you in another way
than a tear,
falling down my face

Standing here until
you touch the floor
or find a way back in through
open, pleading pores,
like part of me was not there
anymore

I don't need you here
to grieve over the shame
of knowing that I let
My light, with our love
fade away

If you should return
upon struggles in your beliefs,
Don't let the fire go out
when alone with your
darkest dreams
If my fingers were candles
and your open mouth in flames,
I would reach so far inside
nothing cold would remain

Reviews

[Frontier]

You've done it again! You always deliver something fresh and new, that I probably would've never imagined.
You have an ability to pinpoint feelings that many people may not wanna recognize and present them with such sagacity and vivid images.
Great job!

[Zakari Schmidt]

I always look forward to your reviews, thank you frontier! Your kind words mean a lot to me :D

[MsJewel]

I love the flow and the rhyme - not forced at all, a soft dance across the page. I think this would be lovely set to music. I would love to hear it. Great work Zachary. You really have an amazing talent!

:) Julie

[Moonie]

The rhythm that you use sews the whole piece together. I really love your imagery here, and the comparisons you made!! This one has such a rich musical quality to it. You write so eloquently but your tone is always so gentle and rhythmic. Overall it seems really fresh and light, but manages to make a huge impact. My favourite lines would be
"open, pleading pores, 
like part of me was not there 
anymore "
and
"If my fingers were candles 
and your open mouth 
in flames, 
I would reach so far inside 
nothing cold would remain"

[Zakari Schmidt]

Thank you so much :) I really appreciate the depth of your review and I'm so glad you took the time to reflect on my writing today!!

[Eleanor]

This is intense and your imagination is amazing!
You expressed the pain really nicely.
I could feel all the pain and longing along with your words.
" Maybe if I shut my eyes
and felt closer to whats inside
I'd see you in another way
than a tear,
falling down my face"
I loved these lines a lot!
You are indeed a writer :)

[Zakari Schmidt]

Hey thank you for taking the time to read and review, I'm glad something I wrote might have stuck with you, I appreciate every kind word!!

[Ashira Macy]

Umm.... WOW! I think this is the first piece of yours that I have had the pleasure of reading, and my gosh I am so glad I did! There was so much intensity woven into your words! That put together with an unusual but brilliant rhythm and rhyme scheme and you had me hooked. I think the last stanza has got to be my favorite, though the whole poem leading up to it was what made it so impacting. Brilliant piece of artwork my friend!

[Zakari Schmidt]

Thank you for the wonderful review, I'm glad you liked it. I think that's awesome coming from such a talented writer, ashira, much appreciated :)

[Matching Socks]

That is absolutely gorgeous poetry.
Very emotional piece.

[Zakari Schmidt]

Thank you Ana, I'm always glad when you read my poetry!

[Amber Lily]

Wow this has great imagery! The contradiction between independence and the need for someone else is really strong, sometime you need them sometimes you don't. I think that is a powerful skill considering how some people easily fall into needing something/someone all the time.
Great write :)

[Zakari Schmidt]

Thank you for taking the time to read and review amber! I appreciate your kind words...such a skill needs honed over time, as I find myself weak in that aspect every once in a while. Writing about it definitely holds up as a shield lol. Thank you again

[Amber Lily]

Don't worry I think was all fall to one side more than the other at times, it's often just more fun to have someone around. If there's anything you would like me to review feel free to send me some requests, I like your work! :)

[Zakari Schmidt]

Feelings mutual! :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i am really impressed with the imagery and abstract feel to this...

i didn't keep your candle lit, but on your own try to keep the flame alive....

if i could retrace my steps, i would never have let you fade away...

the second chance, the reaching in as far as we could...this reminds me of Robert Creeley...

excellent piece.

[Zakari Schmidt]

Wow thank you sir, what a great review. I am so glad my choices of imagery stuck with and resonated with you, the true undertone of this poem I edited for quite some time, to get it right.

Thank you so much, I appreciate you taking the time to read

[Sami Khalil]

In my library...:).................

[Zakari Schmidt]

Thanks Sami much appreciated!! I'll look forward to reading more of your work, thanks again

[Sami Khalil]

:)............................

[Sami Khalil]

Some very good lines to quote. A wonderful write...:).....................

[Zakari Schmidt]

Hey thank you for taking the time to read and review, I appreciate it!

[Sami Khalil]

Hey. You are welcome...:).............