One

This is the opening where all the characters meet one another and embark on their great adventure, starting with my character, Calypso.

  Calypso has lived quite a life of excitement and adventure in her 24 years, and it probably shows.  A human of Oeridian decent with light tan skin covered in several black tattoos, including her hands and a smallish symbol by her left eye.  She has her raven black hair styled with some silver beads in the front and a red bandanna with a white pattern on it rested on top of her head and rich brown eyes. She wears black leather, a jacket stitched up along the arm, with buttons down the front she wears open, revealing a night black silk button up shirt underneath.  The sleeves are pushed up revealing a dark laced cuff on her right wrist and a brown-black corded bracelet on her left wrist.  Black leather pants, also with stitches up the sides and a wide belt that holds a wheel lock horse pistol on her right hip and a cutlass on the left side.  Two daggers cross along the back of the belt as well.  Her build is slightly stronger than the average female, and her dexterity is amazing.  She was an orphan at a young age who stowed away on a ship to an island of amazons who raised her.  Upon reaching adulthood she hopped back aboard a ship, this time as a woman wanting to learn the way of the sea, which she fell in love with, especially being up in the ropes.  This is where she shone until one day the she managed to get kidnapped and that is when her land adventure began a few years ago. She has managed her freedom and a buckskin riding horse named Edward since then. Calypso longs to get back out on the sea.  But this time, she wants it to be her ship, her command.  An all female crew would be ideal but she knows will have to work on all of that.  

  Even today, in the darkest times of the once great Empire, legends persist about the wealth of Dragonmount.  She spent an evening at the bar in the inn of the Province of Karathfen and heard what she figured was an exaggerated tale of the place when she asked the bartender if there was any chance of riches and adventure in the area.  Still, the possibility that it could be true called to her like the winter calling a bird south for the winter.  And this was the start of the summer season.  Perfect time to find a new group to go exploring with her.  Surely some of these folks in here would be brave enough to accompany her.  Sadly most of the patrons were what appeared to be locals.  A majority of them human, of course.  A small mixture of dwarfs, elves and halflings are in the mix.  It is after dinnertime and about a dozen of the approximately 60 tavern goers are drunk, including her.  Calypso feels more secure and self assured when intoxicated.  Which unfortunately,  makes her a little off when sober.  "I'll have another one of those excellent bottles of wine.", she tells the bartender as she hands him about half of the coins in her money pouch.  She needs to figure out something quick before she runs out of coin and then wine, gods forbid.  

  As she takes a drink from the freshly uncorked bottle of wine her eyes can't help but notice a human male walk in.  He looks like the warrior type.  Attractive is what most women would say, and young.  He uncurls a parchment he had in hand and posts it on the wall wall behind her and sits at table near it.  While the waitress asks him what he would like to order Calypso reads the parchment.  LOOKING FOR ADVENTURES TO JOIN ME ON A QUEST TO DRAGONMOUNT.  THOSE INTERESTED MEET ME AT THE FRONT GATE AT DAWN.  An elf male walks up and reads it as well.  Elves are ridiculously elegant and beautiful, even the males.  This one has long golden hair and dressed in soft forest greens and browns.  A finely crafted longbow and quiver of arrows rests on his back.  A drunk half elf female dressed in turquoise leather with golden trimming and chin length purple dyed hair, two short bows and two swords has been talking about this male elf with her two female companions for a while now. 

  Calypso likes the half elves' attitude that male elves with bows are overrated and snobbish and in fact she completely agrees.  The dark haired obviously pregnant female says, "I'm sure he's not like that.  Elves like that don't leave the forest."  She has on a captain's hat with a large white feather in it.  Maybe she is a Captain of a ship?  A cord is around her neck with some sort of symbol tied to it.  Also wearing a long sleeved yet sheer and flowing white shirt and a collared light red vest with gold piping.  A wide belt worn high on her waist with a morning star and a rapier attached to it.  A short and a long bow and two quivers of arrows are laying against the table.   The absolutely gorgeous valley elf with white blond hair in a side braid in a creme colored gown with a lace trimmed train and a belt with two matching katanas says, "I think he's cute.  Same goes for the guy he's talking to.", and she giggles.

  The soldier guy and the elf male seem to come to an agreement and the half elf female stomps over to them.  "If he is going I am too.",  she says to the soldier.  "Okay?  You are more than welcome to join us."  The soldier man thinks she is kinda adorable.  The elf male smirks for he is thinking the same thing.  She turns to the elf.  "What are you smiling at?   I bet you I get more kills than you do.  Well?  What do you say?  Let's put 50 gold pieces on it."  "I don't know.   That's all the gold I have.", the elf replies.  "What are you scared of losing?", she kinda looks serious too.  "Alright."', he says.  "I'll bet 25 gold on it."  She reaches out and shakes his hand and says, "Deal."  At this point her friends walk over.  The pregnant one says "We will be joining her."  The blonde jumps around excitingly and the pregnant one tries to calm her with a look.  The soldier is like' "I don't know.  Is there any MEN that will join us?"  He speaks plenty loud enough for all to hear.  

  This is the last straw for Calypso.  She stands and turns to the soldier and says, "I'm not a man but I am better in many ways.", as she winks at him.  The soldier seems unsure about this attempt of flattery and says, "Well you all can meet me at dawn at the gate and if no men show up I guess you can come along."  "What about me?  I get to go either way right?"' the half elf girl asks.  "Yes.  You look like you can handle yourself."' the soldier says.  He rushes out of the bar and walks down the street.  The blonde turns to Calypso.  "I dare you to ask him out on a date."  "Watch me through the window.", Calypso says as she rushes out to catch up to the soldier.  The other three females crowd to the window to watch and the elf male tells the barkeep, "I will be needing a room for the night."  and gets out five silver pieces. "A private one please."  He uses the females distraction as an opportunity to escape upstairs.

  "Hey wait!"  Calypso yells out to the soldier.  He turns around and looks a little annoyed,  "Yes?"  At least she is alone.  "I was just wanting more information about Dragonmount.  I wanna know what I may be getting myself into."  "Okay.",  he supposes this is a reasonable request.  "Dragonmount is the highest point for many miles.  It was a fortress hundreds of years ago.  Some say a dragon is in the ground and the land is on top of it...", he rambles on while Calypso pretends to be interested and unties his money pouch from his belt and slides it up her sleeve flawlessly.  "Any other questions?", he asks.  "Yeah.  What's your name?", one of her eyebrows raises in another attempt of flirting.  "Malakast."  "  See you in the morning Malakast."  And with another wink she walks away and back to the bar.

  "I'm gonna go see what's going on.", the blonde tries to leave but the other two women grab her.  "No Sharema!  When she gets back we can just ask her what happened.  Calm down."  The pregnant girl likes Sharema and Sibhan and thinks they are good friends but the two of them are impossible when they are drunk.  And here she is the youngest of the three at 16 years old and having to pretty much babysit.  Guess she best get used to it being that she will be having a baby in a couple of months.  "Hey,  where did that elf guy go?",  Sibhan asks.  The bartender tells her, "He got a room and went upstairs."  Calypso walks back in.  "So what happened?", Sharema asks her."  "I'll let you know in the morning.", Calypso answers as she picks up her bottle again and takes another drink and sits back at the bar.  "Oh.  Come on!"  Sharema uses her pouty face which Calypso promptly ignores.  "Let's go check on the horses!"  Sharema suggests.  "Yeah let's go.", Sibhan agrees.  "We need to pay for another night of stabling anyways."', the pregnant one, Chandra joins them.  

  The stable is right next to tavern.  There are ten horses stabled and each of the women own one of them.  "What's up Dude?"  Sharema says to her brown and black dun horse as she feeds him some hay.  Yes she really did name her horse that.  Horse training is actually one of Sharema's talents.  Dude can walk backwards and sideways.  Sibhan has a blue roan who is appropriately named Grumpy. Chandra's horse is a robust liver chestnut she has named Traveler. "One more night of stabling'"  Chandra tells the boy in the stable and hands him two gold pieces.  "You may keep the change."  "Thank you!"  The boy smiles and pockets the money.  He picks up a brush and goes into Traveler's stall to groom him.  "I need to get to the room to say my prayers and rest up for our journey."  Chandra tells the others.  "That is boring!", Sharema says.  "I want to go fishing.  Plus we need to make a list so we can shop for our trip."   Sibhan suggests, "Let's go back to the room.  You get your fishing gear and then go fish, Chandra can pray and I"ll make a shopping list.  Stores will open back open in the morning."  And they all did just that.  

  

Reviews

[SquinklaPsyOps]

Your writing style brings it all together very nicely.

Will definitely read it again.

[Barbara Tennyson]

An awful lot of backstory gets tossed at the reader without much real action. Try starting off with the bare minimum you need to give some action a little context, and go from there. Let the backstory wait until the narrative demands it.

Also, who's talking and who's acting would be clearer if each character was in her own paragraph rather than having multiple dialogue/actions jammed up together in one way too big paragraph.