For the Longest Time

For the Longest Time

 

 

For the longest time,

I’ve felt empty inside.

My thoughts in my head

Are like toy trains on tracks.

 

For the longest time,

No one knew how I felt.

People looked at me and I

Smiled back to make them look away.

 

For the longest time,

I didn’t tell anyone who I really was.

But a little while ago,

It just splurged out of me.

 

For the longest time,

I handled my pain all by myself.

Now I have people that want to

Help me, but I feel like no one can.

 

For the longest time,

I’ve been telling myself that everything is fine.

But my everyday life and feelings

Showed me that I couldn’t do it anymore.

 

For the longest time,

I’ve been sad and lonely.

Not so long ago, I started hurting my body

By picking up a bad habit again that I had stopped.

 

For the longest time,

People around me decided my life for me.

Even now I have no idea what I’m doing

And what will become of me in the future.

 

For the longest time,

I’ve been hating myself more and more.

I noticed the way people turned away

From me after I fulfilled my purpose.

 

For the longest time,

I’ve been regretting my presence in this World.

But I’m too afraid of what will be

Once I no longer am.