The Crying City

When I see you my heart turns into a sonic boom, pounding every second.

As the waves dance around us I look into your eyes,

I am lost for words; I cannot help but to fall in love with you over and over again.

 

They’re no words to describe how I feel inside,

As I stare into to your eyes I get lost,

Your deep blue eyes look as stunning as sunrise.

 

Like the heavens of the sky you are but so fine,

I think of you as silk and as simple and beautiful as a blossom.

You are like a lioness where the alpha males fight for you.

You cover the oceans with beauty,

People from all over the world search for you,

They cry in harmony, as they can’t find you.

 

You are like the sea at a low tide 

So calm, so peaceful

But when the sea comes it takes my heart with you.

You shine upon the surface of the world like the moon reflecting on the sea.

 

I cannot imagine the beauty that you have still got to show.

The crying city watches you and knows,

No matter how they try you are mine.

I am merely like a bodyguard next to you

Trying to take the people off of you,

For only a fragment of your beauty.

 

You have still got much more to offer, even I do not know

I do not dare to think to see what more you got to offer.

Am I the crying city representative?

Do I act like an informer?

This is the true question, how do they know of her?

How do they know of such beauty?

Reviews

[nono]

very very very very very nice

[Y.Badr El Din]

like wat?? and thanks! ^_^

[Faye]

I have seen better from you, don't get me wrong, this is pretty good.

[Devons]

I think that overall the sentiments you are expressing are conveyed with sincerity and variety.. However there are a few issues which need to be addressed concerning the technical side of the work. The flow, rhythm, and choice of words is somewhat out of kilter on more than one occasion, and the language needs a little attention at times too. I really liked the title but I didn't get the reference to it - I kind of expected The Crying City to be the metaphor for the poem... but it isn't mentioned until the end.. and then, when it is, it doesn't quite make sense (to me anyway) and just seems to be used for effect more than meaning. Hope this helps in some way.

[deeps]

Wow this is so wonderful, such a enjoyable read. I Like this muchly

[Nicaushio Yamaki]

splendid

[Midnight_Mask]

I loved it. you really are really good. You can make the reader feel your feelings, very strong, well done MOMO, hehe. Poetry is your strong point from wat i seen =D

[Michael X]

this is a wonderful ode to desire and fair beauty, your words are powerful and flowing-- connects to the reader, the long suffering is felt throughout.
you have talent, keep up the great work.