It Could Be Worse

sad

Life.

What a load of crap. Honestly is this world really a place where we want to live in anyways? I know I certainly don’t. To have to wake up everyday to go through the same routine, the same constant struggles and bullshit day in and day out is torture. But I guess it could be worse right? I mean it always could be worse. I could be an orphan or blind or something.

I slid my book into my backpack before I head over to the hanger and grab my coat. I yell a quick goodbye to my mom and pick up the keys to the car. As I walk outside I can hear the sharp wind whip past my face. I move quick to the car and quickly turn on the heat. Rubbing my hands together I look out the window and see some kids walking down the street. I remember when that was me. Wish I could go back to when things were so much easier.

I sigh and pull out of the driveway on my way to school. That’s another thing I never did understand. School. What’s the point of it? If you’re not model thin with bleach blonde hair and big b***s you get nowhere. Nobody gives a damn that you’re number one in your class or that you can write music. No. In high school, if you don’t have a set of poms in your hand, have an IQ of less than 12, or an easy-to-access vagina, you’re basically fucked.

I guess it’s not all bad though. I do have a friend. Yeah. One friend. Yay. But she is an amazing friend. She is absolutely hilarious and makes a delicious apple pie. Plus my parents are pretty awesome. Also by being smart I’ve gotten a scholarship lined up for my future. So take that you w****s! Better not say that out loud…I do still have to spend a year with these people.

I finally make it to the parking lot and pull into my usual spot. I double check to make sure that the doors are locked before I make my way into the school. It’s really a small school with not much to offer but hey like I said I guess it could be worse.

I put my books into my locker and my friend comes up to me as we walk to class. She seems pretty nervous. “Hey Sarah everything alright? Did something happen?”

“I….I don’t know. I just feel like something bad is going to happen you know? I don’t know what it is…maybe I’m just overly tired.” She tries to shrug it off but I can tell she’s still worried.

We go to our first four classes in a slow sluggish pace and by the time lunch comes around Sarah is shaking with fear. “Hey seriously do you know something? Did you get in a fight with someone? Come on Sarah you need to talk to me because you’re really starting to freak me out.”

“No I didn’t!” she nearly shouts. She takes a deep breath and sits down at our table. “Like I said I don’t know I just-”

I turn to look to the sound but it’s already too late. It’s over. My life. It’s over. I see it all flash before me.

As I fall to the ground, I hear the screams and a faint wild laugh. I hear the shots again and again but each time the noise gets quieter and quieter as if someone is putting earmuffs on me. I feel so lost. What is the noise? I slowly turn my head over to see a balling Sarah.

“Oh my God! Help!! Someone help!!! Please! Alice it’s going to be okay. I promise I’ll get a doctor! I’ll fix you I swear! Just don’t leave me please! Don’t die on me!”

That’s when it all really begins to sink in. My life is going to end today. How can that happen? How could this happen!?!?! Please God no! I was just kidding earlier when I said this world was crap! Please no!! No…

I feel the tears slid down my face but the rest of my body slowly starts to get numb. I can hardly hear Sarah’s words anymore. I just can’t understand why this would happen. Should I have been a s**t? Did I live my last 17 years wrong? Was there something else I should have done? Yes. My life’s going to end and I got nothing done. I went to school, read manga, helped my sister with her math and that’s it.

But now I won’t get to go anywhere. I was suppose to go Japan. And go college. Yeah Yale. I was head Yale. And book. I book write…I can’t think. Words are all jumbled…lost…I’m lost…no sense…

I feel my eyes start to close and I force all the strength I have left to my mouth and brain to forcibly say, “Tell them all…all I…I love them.”

I hear her sob but my eyes have already fallen shut. I feel myself leaving this world. Guess I’ll never get to be an author or a teacher or whatever I would have been. Guess I really won’t make a difference. Guess that life really is crap. But death is worse. I may not have enjoyed high school or even middle school that much but I did enjoy life. I had a lot to look forward to, a lot to live for. Yeah. It can’t get any worse.

Reviews

[roarke]

Things can always get worse, and then it rains.

Nice opening to this story, really forms the main character well. I also enjoyed the pace of your narration.

There's a million stories suggested in this one, celebrate life, not the cliche of death.

Btw very nice writing.

[Samantha Jankowski]

Thank you!

[Trigorin]

Not bad, and you have a clear image which you present fairly well. I think you ought to expand on this a bit more as at present it seems a little unfinished and monologuey.

[Samantha Jankowski]

Will do thanks!

[Joan*Eckhart]

The voice in this story came across as angry. I thought you wrote it well, and the emotion was well expressed.

[Samantha Jankowski]

Thanks so much!

[y0shek]

The voice is very good. I am thoroughly convinced the narrator is a very cynical teenage girl. Like the other reviewer said, there are a million stories suggested in this one. I would have liked more of a buildup with scenes and characters, interactions so I can get to know and empathize better with the narrator, etc. Great writing style! Great piece!
Thanks for sharing!

[Samantha Jankowski]

Thanks for reading!