My supernatural neighbor

My imaginary neighbor

He likes white, white it is

He is very lowly

Talk very softy

He works really quiet

And often disappears without being noticed

His eyes twinkle like the stars in heaven

His smiles are as bright as the sun- radiant indeed!

He is a true gentleman

and charming in every way

He plants flowers in his garden

and his favorite is white roses

I wonder why

He talks to birds and every animal

As if they are friends for a very long time

He loves his neighbors

He is compassionate to everyone

His hands are always to open to help

He walks with humility and loving kindness

I seek him one morning

but he is gone

I don't know where

But when I look at heaven

I see him there and he is now an angel

Waving goodbye with his lustrous white wings.

Author's Note

I would really appreciate any review.... especially corrections!

Reviews

[Chuck]

I like this, it paces well and I could see the fella. I had a super rad neighbour growing up, kind of like this, that I had completely forgotten. Thank you, nice work :) I would eliminate the 'I wonder why' in the middle, I'd keep the little perspective shift until the end, but it's yours, and I dig it regardless.

[Ysi millan]

Hopeless
Once upon a time
Life gave me a test
It was the hardest test I've ever taken

I failed , yes I failed
I fell on the ground
Feeling hopeless and weak
The colorful world I used to know
Suddenly turned into gray

I was hopeless then
I saw only but darkness
I was deeply wounded
Completely lost and astray

I cried for help
But the world
seemed become deaf
My plea was unheard
I shouted even more louder,
But no one dared to listen

All by myself
I traveled the road of sadness
I felt so weak and weary, but
I chose to go on
Slowly, slowly,slowly

I didn't notice
Though, I moved like a slug
I've managed to move forward
Far from where I collapsed.

:))

[Krizito]

I like the story you're trying to tell with this piece-your neighbour must have been really awesome- but I've got a couple suggestions-just my opinion. I think you should work on a bit of structure-it helps if a preceding line is not so much longer than the next...sometimes it disrupts the rhythm.
Also punctuations..those help a lot. Good luck..keep writing:)