Tears that I'll Keep Forever

to my friends who loved me dearly..

 

it was a dark and rainy afternoon

where the clouds which fell had moved

the sky was painted in dirty gray

what a blue, memorable day

 

my friends and i were in one corner

looking out and expecting something to flower

but drops of rain was all we had discovered

wishing it was a rainbow and not the rain that would bother

 

minutes later we were all stuck together

together in one room, full of laughter

sharing secrets, talking about crushes

until the flood rise, soon rushes

 

someone tapped the radio on

music began playing, nothing could go wrong

suddenly someone began to cry

tears began dropping by

 

the story she told was hurting her inside

crystal tears flooding in her eyes

we asked her if she was alright

we held her close, held her tight

 

she said that we were the only ones who knew

she trusted us, the secret she blew

her story wants to make all of us cry

until all of us can't try to hide the tears inside

 

crying with my friends, i thought

was the greatest feeling i have ever bought

my heart flew like a feather in the air

i wish i would always be here and there

 

i hugged my friends wishing to never let go

i would never forget that days ago

'cause the tears that fell on my shoulder

are the tears that i'll keep forever

 

when i glanced at the window

i never believed what i saw

the beauty of the rainbow

was shining beautifully with a glow

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Bailey C. Writing]

This has such an impact and is really full of deep emotion. The only issue I noticed was a typo :) but drops of rain was all we had discovered. Was should be were, good grammar yes? But this was an excellent poem, I'm favoriting it, I loved it.

[paparapapa]

First, I loved the format and the font! :)) Second, this is a very touching poem. It perfectly shows the beauty of friendship. You and your friends are lucky to have each other. Third, the ending's beautiful. It embodies a meaning that puts a smile on the readers' faces.Good job on that. But just a little something, I think the rhyme scheme's tight in some places. However, I still loved this piece. Great write! :)

[Cassie Fraga]

nothing greater then real friendship!! that was very well penned!!

[Tai Ryens]

Rhyme scheme could use a little work. Story was interesting. Format intrigued me a little. I loved the meaning of the poem though, that was nice. Some lines however, they just didn't feel like they belonged in. They felt forced, and they slightly ruined the flow. I'll leave you up to finding those lines, it'll help you spot mistakes like that in the future easier. Keep up the wonderful work, this was a very nice read.

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

A nice story in a poem, i like this a lot, and love the rhyming. Nice.

[Daytonight]

Very interesting form. I love the last two lines best! Well done!

[TheElfPrincess]

I like the flow and format of this, I loved it. Well done.

[Rene Velez]

nice write, I like the construction, cool work

[Ripple of Aqua]

This is more of a story than a poem. But I really loved the meaning. :)

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

So awesome, love the detail, emotion and the imagery that jumps out :)