Frozen and Dead Heart

Heart so empty,a deep black hole
Buried through dirt,frozen like ice
With a broken,beat down soul
It was enticed
It has made me colder
Keeping thoughts locked up inside
Only for the beholder
Who's heart is still abide
No feeling,hollow
Wanting to break free
In the depths to wallow
Drops another degree
Frozen
Dead

 

Reviews

[deeps]

Powerful well written write. A most enjoyable read.

[Jonathan Ballam]

The last word 'dead', fell like a cold and hard icicle right through me. This poem has a great rhythm and emotional force.

p.s. I'd suggest taking out the word 'behold'. It's a very old and poofy word. For example, try and use it in a sentence nowadays without getting a raised eyebrow.

p.p.s. despite my little knit pick, this is still a lovely poem...keep writing ;)

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

this is an excellent write.......... "heart so empty, a deep black hole "

[cheeeeese]

Mmm, sorrowful poem, but it was very good and it was very well-written. I liked the rhyming scheme, it didn't seem forced. And the ending was very to the point. Frozen - Dead. Loved it all, great job.

[ebur™]

very descriptive and filled with emotion, it enticed me to read further. wonderful poem, although a bit sad *cry*, but enjoyable to read because it was good. well done. :)

[DELETED]

I like this.
Great Job xD