Prologue.

Darcey's POV:

“Dad! don't! Dad! What! Are! You! Doing!” I scream out to my dad,

Three guys walk up to him, they look very unhappy well more angry then anything. I just stand there, not knowing what to do. 
These guys jumped in through the window, after smashing them with massive rocks. The big dark tall guy has my dad by the thought, well the two other guys and point a guns at him. I let the tears scream down my face, as my dad get attacked by these burglars.

“Don't! Hurt! Him!” I scream
“Little girl shut up!” One of the guys with a gun yells at me.

The house is all dark, because it's just after midnight. I came downstairs when I heard crashing in the living room and I found my dad already standing there.

“Now Joseph, this is the day we have been waiting for.” The same guy says who yelled at me
“Have you been waiting for us, Joseph?” The other guy with the gun says

My dad just keeps quiet and doesn't say anything.

“Well Joseph, answer them.” The guy who has dad by the neck says, well tightening his grip.
“No! Your! Hurting! Him!” I scream
“Shut up little girl.” Same guy who yelled at me before says, but now he is walking over to me well pointing the guy at me

I hear dad squirming in the guys grip.

“Now Keith, don't hurt her, living with Elisa will be tough enough.” The other guy with the gun says
“So we really going to do it?” The guy who I guess is Keith says.
“No, we just came here for no reason.”
“Well let's get it over and done with.”
“Little girl, you might want to leave.”
“Her names Darcey, right Joseph?” The other guy says
“Oh yes, Darcey. You don't look much like your mum at all, I guess you took after this piece of s**t.”
“Now! Down to what we are here for.” The guy holding dad says

I stand there looking at there faces. I don't know or remember any of them, but how do they know dad and I? Have they been stalking us. 
As I zoned out and day dreamed, five gun shots went off. I wake up from my day dream, once the last gun shot went off. They let dad go and he falls to the ground.

“GO! GO! GO!” Keith yells

They jump back out of the window and run into the darkness, I run to dads side. 

“Dad! Dad!” I scream well holding him
“Daddy.” I whisper

I hold dad, as his breathing slower’s, he doesn't move. I feel him give in and stop breathing, I give him a small cuddle well I cry and blood still pores out of his body. 
After a few minutes the door gets kicked in, I see 3 fully uniformed police officers. The lady officer walks over to me and picks me up off the floor, well the two guys talk on their walkie-talkie and writing on the notepad.

“Go, have a shower and get changed.” The woman says
“But what about me dad?” I ask
“We are here now, we will take care of it.” She says

I nod and walk slowly upstairs, I have a shower, I get changed into a grey t-shirt and blue jeans. I walk back downstairs, my dads body isn't on the floor anymore, it isn't anywhere.
The two guy police from before walk over to me. Now nearly all the lights in the house are turned on and there are more officers are here then when I went upstairs.
They ask me the normal questions: 'did youre dad have enemies?' 'He wasn't a dealer of anything?' 'He didn't do anything in the past month?' All those type questions till another officer walks over and speaks up.

“Did the guys say names?”
“Yes.”
“Was their names Frank, Keith or...”
“Keith, the main guy his name was Keith.”
“I knew we shouldn't have let them into the country.”
“Excuse me what?” I ask

He walks me over to the couch and starts to explain.

“You're dad, he was in a gang, he got out when you were born. We have been watching this since he moved to Australia, the guy they are dangerous. When he left, they threaten to kill you, and when your dad move here, he got messages saying 'we will find you and you won't live to see another day' all those kind of messages. I'm surprised they didn't hurt you to.”
“They where going to. Wait your saying my dad was in a gang?”
“Yes kiddo. Parents don't tell you everything.”

I just stare blankly at him. My whole childhood was a lie! 
I go up to my room and let them do what ever they have to do. I only go downstairs when I have to, get a drink or I am hungry. 

Author's Note

Please tell me what you think...
I change it up a bit, please tell me what you think

Reviews

[Muufuu]

A few grammar mistakes but otherwise quite interesting.

[Xerclipse]

Keep up the idea of the story you got. Grammar could be improved but I like what you are going with. Very dark beginning but I wish to know more about the details tho. Keep going :)

[Alexander Rodgers]

This is a good idea, but there are some grammar mistakes. a few parts could use a little bit more description (ex. what the gang members look like, what the father looks like, what sort of guns are they using? Stuff like that) You also may want to work on dialogue, it seems a little forced to me, almost scripted. Other than that I like it, keep going!

[EurasianFlavour]

I think you have a solid idea, but I would highly suggest proof reading and brushing up on your grammar. I'm sure this is a draft, so it's okay to not have everything perfect, but the amount of mistakes made it hard to read. Here are just a couple of quick examples upon first read:

"The big dark tall guy has my dad by the thought, well the two other guys and point a guns at him. I let the tears scream down my face, as my dad get attacked by these burglars" "thought" should be "throat", "well" should be "while", should be "pointed" and take out the "and", "scream" should be "stream", "get" should be "got" (or "was")

"My dad just keeps quite and doesn't say anything." "quite" should be "quiet"

“Now Keith, don't hurt her, living with Elisa will be enough tougher.” Should be "tough enough" I don't think anyone says enough tougher.

“Now! Down to water we are here for.” This sentence is very confusing and I'm not sure what you are trying to say. "Down to what we are here for"??

Make sure you keep everything in the same verb tense, and for the dialogue, you don't need to end each line with "___says". Either switch it up a bit or just leave it out completely. It gets a little repetitive and takes away from the tension you are trying to build.

Otherwise, I think you have a really good idea going, and it would make a great story! Please don't take my critique harshly. I hope you keep writing!

[Glee]

Nice use of conversation and drama to capture the reader's attention.