Bout to Cry

One minute its ok the next i want to run and hide... In school listening to a song and i think I am going to burst into tears. My weakness is my happyness. What makes me smile makes me cry... Nothing is going well right now I don't know what i should do when I cant get myself together. My eyes are closed I plugged my ears and curled into a ball in the corner crying my eyes out. i want to be comforted but I don't want anyone to see me or even know I am there. I hide my face in fear they will know. I can't stop it and now I have to live through it. So many other days I could be thinking about but none of them are enough to make me forget the sad momments in my life... I want someone to know whats wrong and even the one person I thought could read me can't see past the tears that run down my face. I can't say it, just live it. When i want someone to hold me close I don't want to say why. I don't ask why anymore, just sit there an to share the pain. why ask why if you know you will never get an answer one day my silence will be worth it and i no longer will have to wonder what was so upseting. How do you solve a problem that won't let itself be known? I sometimes don't even know why I am crying... I just do and when I am done I go on as if it never happened and pretend everything is ok when I know its not. I see so many people everyday and the fake smiles on their face, the ones on mine. I am running out of time, and I don't care. Time is precious to me but what do I have to do with it? So many options I could do so many things but I dicide to spend it with my daughter and try to get through my day.  A different year, A different month, A different week, A different day, A different hour, A different momment, So why does it all feel the same to me?