Conformist Monster

Conformist Monster

A Poem by Viki Rachel
"

The best thing to be is yourself.

"

I can make you feel fuzzy and warm inside,

Accepted and loved.

If you only came over here.

 

We all look the same,

Act the same, and talk the same.

Why not join?

 

You see, we are many,

And you are one person.

Majority wins, sell me your soul.

 

Laugh a fake laugh,

Smile a fake smile.

Aren't those the best kind?

 

Thank you for joining.

(It'll be hard to leave.)

Time for a total change.

 

Oh, sure it's fun when you start,

But when you lose heart,

You realize you're no longer you.

 

Weren't we all perfect,

When you had no idea?

We had you fooled.

 

Didn't this all used to look like fun?

Nice soul you had (too bad it's gone).

Eaten by the conformist monster.

© 2011 Viki Rachel


Author's Note

Viki Rachel
Of course, this was dramatic, but I'm just trying to get my point across.

My Review

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Featured Review

Great advertisement; you make losing yourself sound glamourous. I like how the bolded lines don't become sinister until the end. Their initial ambiguity doesn't make conformity look so bad, thus making the final sentense all the more surprising and powerful.

The only suggestion I have is maybe creating a rhythm with the verses through the number of syllables or words in each phrase.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

And you made the point very well. This could be my life-theme. I've never been one to follow crowds and destest the thought of it. No sheeple, I. A very good one, Viki.

Posted 13 Years Ago


I just fell in love with this poem. The vibes that I got from it were, someone was saying all of this very nonchalent, almost "bubbly" even. The wording and the tone of this piece are contradicting to it's dark concepts and undertone. This piece really moved me, I read it maybe three times before I reviewed it. Another thing I felt, was that this didn't feel forced. It's seems as if the words just flew down on the paper (or computer screen) as if this was a thought eating away at you and the pen took over. My favorite line is "Nice soul you had (too bad it's gone)". It was a powerful line, and a wonderful wrap up. Bravo.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Great advertisement; you make losing yourself sound glamourous. I like how the bolded lines don't become sinister until the end. Their initial ambiguity doesn't make conformity look so bad, thus making the final sentense all the more surprising and powerful.

The only suggestion I have is maybe creating a rhythm with the verses through the number of syllables or words in each phrase.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is so truthful, and I love it as well. People are slowly losing the ability to think for themselves nowadays. To quote Marilyn Manson: "I fear being like everyone I hate, I fear failure, I fear losing control. I love balancing between chaos and control with everything I do. I always have a fear of going one way or another, getting lost in something, or losing everything to get lost in. And I fear being a completely acceptable sheep in society." Great poem.

Posted 13 Years Ago


This reminds me a lot of my struggles through high school to fit in. Most of the time it's the outsiders we think of as bad influences, but you turned it around to say that those who demand conformity are the ones who are dangerous. I like that you used three liine stanzas throughout, since the number three symbolizes death and destruction. And it was interesting that it was in second person, making the reader feel as though the speakers were talking to her (or him.) Nice poem.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like it. It's true too so...yeah XD
I like it and it brings a view up to the table that most people don't like talking about.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on January 14, 2011
Last Updated on January 14, 2011

Author

Viki Rachel
Viki Rachel

Dallas, TX



About
~~I WILL NOT ADD YOU WITHOUT PRIOR CONTACT~~ I don't take RRs. I check up on all of my friends and review their poems, stories, and sometimes books. I don't expect reviews in return, however they are.. more..

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