The City

A concrete jungle.

The sun is invisible in the city,

Where only the dresses are pretty,

In a place so

Grey,

Grey,

Grey.

 

 

Peace is unachievable,

With a cacophany inconcievable.

Will God hear if we

Pray;

Pray;

Pray?

 

 

Where the people thrive on gasoline

And are unaware of the color green,

Because grass ain't got no place to

Stay;

Stay;

Stay.

 

 

Hey, we got stores on every street,

With a deadline we have to meet!

So come shop

Today,

Today,

Today.

Author's Note

A kind of quirky write of mine.

Reviews

[.shalynn.009.]

Very nicely done. I like how you repeated the last words three times, as the number three signifies death. So, the color is a kind of death, praying is something that seems to be going through a kind of death, grass will die if it stays in the city, and our ignorance today is killing the world. Nice symbolism. I liked the structure of the poem as well, and the use of the pronoun "we" which makes everyone responsible, but also makes the reader feel strangely cut off from the collective speakers because readers can see the problems in what the collective is saying. Good poem.

[anirishlullaby]

I like this poem, especially the unique format! Your ability to play around with format is wonderful, and I envy it a little =) My favorite stanza was:

Where the people thrive on gasoline
And are unaware of the color green,
Because grass ain't got no place to
Stay;
Stay;
Stay.

So true. I got a little thrown off by the ending, but mostly because shopping and deadlines just didn't seem as drastic as everything else you'd mentioned in the poem beforehand. I guess I'm too in love with powerful, thought provoking endings. But again, this is definitely just my opinion! Nothing you have to worry about. The writing and structure is awesome! Keep it up!

[Madeleine Grace]

i like, i like (:

[Collette Paige]

I like this one. The style is really unique :D
I liked it a lot, keep it up ^_^