In the Cold Months

A poem dedicated to winter.

The Winter Fairy emerges from the ground,

She is ready to change the Earth.

With a soft blow, the air turns chilly.

The world feels winter's birth.

 

She waves her hands above her head,

Causing snowflakes to descend.

And oh! The feeling of winter!

She never wants the feeling to end.

 

She touches the dirt beneath her,

It freezes beneath her finger.

She relishes the pulsating feeling,

And so she lets it linger.

 

She opens her sky blue eyes,

And lets a gasp pass through her lips.

She jerks her hands from the ground,

And stares at her fingertips.

 

They have turned completely blue,

When they are supposed to be white.

She let her hands linger too long,

And now she's drowning in fright.

 

She didn't give the animals enough time

To flee to a hole or a tree.

The shock of the cold must've been awful,

But it was something that they could not see.

 

She surveys the damage,

The poor animals lay on the ground.

They did not see it coming,

Nor did it make a sound.

 

Sadness overwhelms her,

As does guilt, and terror.

How could she have been so foolish?

How could she have made such an error?

Winter has officially ended,

For she could not go through as planned.

This winter was not glorious,

This winter was not grand.

 

Spring quietly takes over,

And unfreezes the plants and earth.

And as the first leaf sprouts on the trees,

The world feels spring's birth.

 

 

Author's Note

I was trying to write a really good poem... didn't work out so well.
Anyway. Tell me what you think. Don't like it? Yeah, I understand.

Reviews

[Madeleine Grace]

Omg, Victoria. That was probably the best poem I have ever heard, Don't take it from me, but from the whole class! Everyone said they loved it! I read it out to them, dang. That's genious! Where do you come up with these imaged and stories?
I don't even think I should write, because mine won't be as NEAR as good as this one. How do you add favorites? This one I'm definitely adding! :)
200/100!

[LSS]

As Madeleine said, you have a talent with your use of imagery, and its one of the divining characters of a good poet, the true heart being the passion and personal self they are able to relate to others. Now - you always are asking for criticism to help you refine your craft. I am amazed by your ability to rhyme with imagination as you form your stanzas. And for the most part you have a sense of using correct meter. But that is one area where you may want to focus. Count the syllables in the words in each line, the same pattern should be repeated in each stanza. Often times I have found I can easily rewrite a line that is too long or short, by just removing a word or two that is implied anyway and can be cut. Example: In stanza 6, 'She didn't give the animals enough time' counts out a cadence of 11, where most of the other first lines count only 7. By rewriting 'She gave the animals no time' you are able to cut it back to a smoother 8 count. Good luck, and I hope the advice offers some help. You show great talent.
LSS

[Madeleine Grace]

images*