Storm

I would love some reviews on this as my first poem!!

And if you look closely enough
And if you peel of the mask
That she wears in a desperate attempt
To hide the flaws, to prove to you,
Or herself,
That she's ok even though it's clear that
She's only acting tough

And if you take the time to explore
And if you delve deep into her mind-
The mind she blocks from the rest of the world,
Because she knows that it's dangerous,
Highly fucked up,
The next great tragedy waiting to happen,
Wrecking, damaging, breaking you (crushing her even more)

And if you really open those eyes
And if you really step over the cracks and the wounds
That have formed her new, paper, identity
And leave scars, autographs from our "deeply loved" society
On the inside, and out,
Then you'll see a hurricane, a whirlpool of emotion ready to
Lose control and strike at any moment;
A Perfect Storm

Author's Note

What do you think for a first attempt?

Reviews

[Sir_Anonymous]

This was well fleshed out for a first poem and kept me intrigued as it reminds me of how I tend to write as well which was kind of nice to see as I don't really know anyone else who writes like me aside from online.... enough about me... I especially like how you tied it all together at the end to show why you named the poem as it is... I always appreciate subtle nods to the title popping in all nonchalantly while keeping the overall flow.

Sincerely, Sir_Anonymous

[Mjh1972]

Wow that seems to be a deeply felt poem. Love the way you share your heart in the writing. Thank you.

[Celine Heath]

Thank you so much!!

[HeyJadeXO]

Many people hide characteristics of their personality for sure.I think when you meet someone you really do need to dig at the core to find a true personality .Very nice poem

[Celine Heath]

Thank you very much.

[Tony Jordan]

I think many people feel this way and society demands that we not be deep, not be complex and that if we insist on being these things then we do so quietly and away from the 'norms' lest we upset them for any longer than it takes to chuck the change from a Starbucks into an old hat.

The ultra-awareness that this is our lot is what causes the repeated storms and overcast days.

You wrote the mind well here - very well Celine.