Ninth Church Service of Jeremy

NinthChurch Service of Jeremy

 

Announcements: There are no announcements again this time.

Message: Self Doubt and Doubting Your Abilities

For one who creates there are three things that can make it hell: The possibility of writing something He Or She, or Hos cannot deal with, the creation of that so evil and alien to Hos it is unacceptable that they could even think it let alone say it or fashion it especially if it is to outlive the creation like Satan was to God. The possibility of creating characters or actual beings that are so addicting they themselves become addicted for whatever reason, so that they can create nothing else. The possibility of creating something that will destroy their credibility in themselves from then on leaving no one else to be interested in them forever though they have created them and have to live in that world that is like fiction forever a world of characters or beings that are unreal but creatable by anyone again especially if the creation is to outlive its creator and be a dream they must either die in or create over and over forever.

There is such a god. His name was Bahai. He turned evil and set out to destroy Christ by taking all his believers away from him, a possibility that has resulted in the demise of a countless number of gods on earth alone. A god with no credibility is one thing but a god without any chance of ever having any believers is dead for what gods create is in their power to persuade others to believe them and their life actually exists in beliefs that must be believed for them to have a reputation and credible belief in them and in believing. When no one, even fellow creators no longer believe in a god, that god dies. But the enemy is not so much others as self doubt.

Bahai found that he could create using some Scriptures believers that didn’t actually believe in Kohae, the King Of Heaven And Earth, thus stealing the life of gods and man alike.  But he found that what he created was something more like a character in a novel that has to do what the author wants based loosely on reality and the truth, Hsog, the Holy Spirit Of God, and Kohae respectively. That is he came to believe they were not real but dead in that they were nothing but dream figments. But it was because the dreams they were in, Bahai’s dreams, were not true but fiction and that he had no desire to do good and be loving toward what amounted to fictional characters. As a result when I last talked to him he was ready to die because he had become dead like all those he killed of Kohae’s living ones still believing it was possible to recreate and destroy everyone to a fictional one he never really did want to love or be good to in the beginning, him being evil.

The key here is not to write fiction or nonfiction like Bahai wrote but to adhere to reality and love the truth so much you would actually die for them to be happy and without guilt. Yes, the dream you create is still a dream though true. But if the dream is not a dream but reality the dream being true leads to being awakened to reality which is the same as saying the dream comes true and leads to real reality.

It was particularly troubling for John because for a while his only believers he had created to believe in him which though he gave them the freewill to believe in him it was not that much different than fictional characters his head was swimming in, all of them unreal as far as he knew and it being fiction he did not want to believe they were real for he was highly moral and had done many very immoral things to them and made some of them immoral characters in a fictional living hell. It bothered him to the point where he actually fancied putting all his writing in a cardboard box and setting them afire. Fortunately they all seem to be out of print and he no longer remembers them, not to mention does not love them for he is lucky and was not gifted with total recall.

There is a phenomenon that many writers for example face. It seems that everyone thinks the story of their life is something worth sharing with others, even their own. But no one has lived without fiction or nonfiction in their lives which are both impractical accounts of something practical and much of it so boring they actually would never have chosen it for themselves to live through let alone share it without the boredom and loneliness and lonesome parts of it drastically altered to make it enjoyable enough for others to read. There are so few actually alive in earth today that it would be gruesome to think about let alone write the story of their life not to mention be the one that created them. Even Kohae suffers from that for he knows that most everyone in earth, even his children did not really live there but at times usually enough to be a great truth of the mind of man not Christians to be dead and uninteresting even some of the great ones among man never actually having existed and what did seem to exist being dead.

But if God is true and he is and everything he ever said or did true and it is, it at least leads to an exciting and rewarding reality and Kohae’s self doubt is baseless and his belief it is all something living and real, being the only thing that actually is, was and will be forever throughout time even in endless repetitions of it.

Let us pray in closing: King of Heaven and Earth hear us as we pray for even, you have some self doubt or did at one time. It is our enemy when we wonder if life, even the Christian life is     worth it, the living of it. Be with us in those times when we wind up feeling like a victim of Bahai or that someone told just enough truth to us to have us believe that is what really happened in such a way we feel it is too exciting to be real and therefore not real or too dull to be real and therefore when considered in true light not real. You feel our suffering and our feelings from inside where we live. You know us, what there truly is to know of us, and though we are filled with self doubt sometimes you know that the finished product, what we are to you and others is the only thing that leaves our self doubts baseless and the true experience of life, life to the fullest which you are making sure of, have made sure of and will forever continue forever. We love you Soasoes, Kohae, Jesus the Christ and pray in your name knowing you love us as we love ourselves and all others even those who cannot or will never love us being fiction like Satan who does nothing man does not do on his own being the only ones whose self doubt would not be baseless in any way for it leaves him nothing. Amen.