living a lie

living a lie

A Poem by Yheela

You know, I thought I had to build my life around him, that he was all that I had to have. Failing to do so would bring terrible consequences, there had to be something bad coming out of not putting him at the centre of my life.

I dreamt, I wrote, I cried, I starved, I eat, I fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell, never seeing the bottom before I hit. Time again I scraped my knees, grovelling, crawling after him. Never to be seen or heard or noticed.

You know, I thought he would notice me eventually, because the hero always does. He always finds his heroine in the end, even though we might think he's made a mistake too many. She’s always there for him to find, it's never too late and he realizes that it's her he loves. My hero had all the characteristics of a true hero, the looks, the words, the courage.

I worshipped the ground he walked upon, he was the rising sun, come to wake my dormant pastures, he was the rain, come to soak my sleeping seeds, he was the night sky, come to sprinkle stars over my darkened earth.

You know, I thought I would die if he didn't acknowledge my existence, the sun can't simply ignore its planets, the rain can't avoid noticing the ground it soaks, the bright stars can't ever be blind to the fact that they alone give us light in the dark of night.

My love spun webs around my heart, so you see; it's a tricky, sticky path of possible life threatening peril. He never came wandering the ways to my heart, he never gave me the time of day, he never knew, anything. I've been living a lie and now I'm stuck in this. This non-existence. This never was, never will be.

© 2012 Yheela


Author's Note

Yheela
No, it's not *me* I'm talking about.
Not everything I write is "true"...

My Review

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Featured Review

This is an amazing poem! I love the picture to extremely gorgeous! It was also very philospohical but because of that for me it read a bit like a narative. I liked the I feel, I fell part a lot but I think you may have put in one to many? check how it sounds with one or two less. The least line is my fave "This never was,never will be" It's also a line in an evanescence song did you know that? If not you should check it out it's very pretty even though her songs tend to be rather sad I am a bit of a fan if you couldnt tell lol

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Yheela

12 Years Ago

Thank you.
I'll re-read and check the falling. ^_^



Reviews

Great write,very deep emotions,I liked it.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Yheela

12 Years Ago

Thank you! ^_^
This makes me so sad for all the love that never even got off the ground, lovely work Yheela.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Yheela

12 Years Ago

Thank you. (^_^)
damned good poem....

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Yheela

12 Years Ago

Thank you! Glad you like it. ^_^
I loved this passage...he was the rain, come to soak my sleeping seeds, he was the night sky, come to sprinkle stars over my darkened earth.... and the ending was just bliss!! What a great poem. Often we wish something so hard that we can make believe its true..you expressed that well in this poem.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Yheela

12 Years Ago

Thank you so much.
Unrequited love or an empty relationship Jenny? At first it felt like an abusive relationship but I am now seeing the former. Love the phrase ' come to soak my sleeping seeds' knock out metaphor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Yheela

12 Years Ago

Thank you!
I'm quite proud of that metaphor myself. ^_^
I think this particularly picked up pace from stanza 4 onwards. It felt original and heartfelt from hereon - I enjoyed it.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Yheela

12 Years Ago

Thank you Enid.
This is an amazing poem! I love the picture to extremely gorgeous! It was also very philospohical but because of that for me it read a bit like a narative. I liked the I feel, I fell part a lot but I think you may have put in one to many? check how it sounds with one or two less. The least line is my fave "This never was,never will be" It's also a line in an evanescence song did you know that? If not you should check it out it's very pretty even though her songs tend to be rather sad I am a bit of a fan if you couldnt tell lol

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Yheela

12 Years Ago

Thank you.
I'll re-read and check the falling. ^_^
Too sad to be about YOU....Very emotional and so true of many...Men AND women...Very good poem..I still can't get my head around the format of writing it as prose though..Too old fashioned I suppose..Very well done though..Go to the top of the class

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Yheela

12 Years Ago

Thank you, I'm way too silly to ever be in a situation as this ... I'd just play video games and stu.. read more
Dr. Wood ?

12 Years Ago

And mark homework I guess
Yheela

12 Years Ago

I try to not take work home, and I try to avoid homework... It's better if work is done at school. ^.. read more
nice poem,but strangely, it seems i know people with these experiences

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Yheela

12 Years Ago

A thing we all seem to encounter, universal even?
What a great expression of passion and idealism crushed. its wonderful in its tragicness, i truly enjoyed every word. great write!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Yheela

12 Years Ago

Thank you so much. ^_^
Poison Ivy

12 Years Ago

< 3 no prob

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Added on September 21, 2012
Last Updated on September 21, 2012

Author

Yheela
Yheela

Gotene, Sweden



About
Reader, geek, published poet and author, gamer, nerd, mom, lazy, N7, wannabe, kind, Browncoat, ironic, Borderlander, crafty and a lot more ... ~*~ more..

Writing
Empty spaces Empty spaces

A Poem by Yheela



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