This Is My Letter To You, Myself

Dearest Self, 

I know you have been in really toughest roads, in really bad shapes and in really tragic phases in your life. I know life has been so hard on you lately. Life has been pushing and pulling you up and down recently. Life has been killing you inside, scraping every healing wounds, wrestling every inevitable circumstances. 

I know its really hard to chase what you really want and yet fail. To do all the things to keep something precious and fail. To give everything you have and yet still fail. 

I know how disappointing and  tiring it is to keep fighting and aiming for something yet you still always win to fail.

Those long thoughtless nights. Those tears shed on your covers. Those throbbing thoughts running in every corners of your mind. Those unpleasing feeling of self worth confined. Every bit of every emotions were all gathered up. Draining you all at once.

You know that life isn't always on your side, but you also know that life shouldn't always be this hard. You tried so hard to understand when things were a little shallow and unrecognizable. You fought in keeping your faith that today will all pass and that another chance will bloom again tomorrow. You convince yourself that everything will change, yet you have no idea until when. You face everything and still, you don't know until when you are going to feel this way. 

I know you're hurting. 

I know you're struggling. 

I know you're overwhelmed with pain.

I know you're flooded with troubles.

I know you're not fine. 

I know you are shattered.

But I want you to hear this out.

Thank you for not giving up. Thank you for not losing your control. For keeping the fight even if life was pushing you to your limits. Thank you for your unfathomable patience, for your unending understanding, for your still courage, for your great strength, for your unwavering faith that everything will be alright in time. Thank you for being so strong all these times that you still chose to keep going and never lose the fight. Thank you for your unceasing perseverance.

Time has been taken a lot of changes. Theres no way you would change the things that had happened in the past if given the chance. Simply because, you wouldn’t be the person right now if it isn’t because of your mistakes. Everything was meant to happen. Because you were meant to become the person you are today. 

You have grown up well. You have learned a lot in a very hard yet you flourished abundantly. Your past made you wiser. Your pains made you stronger. Your fears made you braver. You let every process you encounter dig deeper into you, so as a result�" you molded yourself into someone more better and more grater than  who you were 5 years ago. With that, I am so proud of you. 

You always see the good things in every circumstances. You always seek love in every chances. You always look for bright side in every struggles. 

You. Always. Choose. To. Be. Positive�" that’s what made you survive all of these. You have been really a good fighter and you have been really engaging in yourself in a very good fight. It makes me so glad, thru it all�" you made it. 

I want you to always stay this way. I want you to always think positively this way. I want you to keep going. I want you to continue spreading love, sharing kindness and bringing light to others. I want you to make this as your purpose�" to become a good instrument in someone's life. Life will get harder and harder. But with your compassion and strong will of hope and faith, you will always be rewarded with what you deserve in life. Surprises will never stop unfolding unto you, only if you won’t stop aiming too.

Keep swimming my dearest self. Keep taking steps forward. Keep chasing the light. Keep following your heart. 

Just. Keep. Growing.